Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Five For Fighting - 100 years
I'm 15 for a moment, Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming, Counting the ways to where you are
I'm 22 for a moment, She feels better than ever
And we're on fire, Making our way back from Mars
15 there's still time for you, Time to buy and time to lose
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I'm 33 for a moment., Still the man, but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way, A family on my mind
I'm 45 for a moment, The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life
15 there's still time for you, Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star, 15 I'm all right with you
15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
Half time goes by, Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye, 67 is gone
The sun is getting high, We're moving on...
I'm 99 for a moment, Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming, Counting the ways to where you are
15 there's still time for you, 22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way, Every day's a new day...
15 there's still time for you, Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live
I think this song is about how teenagers all think being grown up will be so much better but in reality we need to make every day count cause it'll be over in the blink of an eye. And the ironic thing is that he's singing about how we only have 100 years. most people don't get 100 years even, so 15 is just the beginning and we need to appreciate every day. don't focus on how messed up your life is. live it and make it count. Read it twice dog!!
Sunday, October 29, 2006
I can’t stand to fly, I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find, The better part of me
I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane, More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me
Wish that I could cry, Fall upon my knees,
Find a way to lie, About a home I’ll never see
It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive, Even Heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede, Even Heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me
Up, up and away…away from me, It’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…
I can’t stand to fly, I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride, With clouds between their knees
I’m only a man in a silly red sheet, Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet, Looking for special things inside of me
It’s not easy to be me.
The superman song.. was watching the VCD Zoom a Tim Allen movie and the song played.. I just ot belt this out at top of my voived coz I loved it and I still belt it out if I feel like it...its a great song, great lyrics, good background music and vocals...
i think it sorta means that im tryin my hardest to be the best but sometimes it dosent work and im getting tired to trying so hard so can you just see me for who i am and not expect so much...or i could be wrong and it can be just a song about superman who knows to show the world superman can only do so much?
In the end..its a song is talking about a human being who is looked up to and admired and has so many expectations to live up to, every one thinks that this person is so great, like Superman, when actually this person is just a normal person that wants to feel like a normal person and be able to feel normal.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
I got to love relatives when they call you over for a drink and then say I got to tell you the trust. Thye not happy la they sad la they growing old la.. how much they love my old man le what high hopes he had for la.. (In case you wondering why I not blasted them, not right to blast someone when they are tipsy/drunk/blabbering)
So I let them talk.. human being are weakest (mostly) when they have no barriers, so let them sig and dance and have anight of peaceful sleep. I have read so much truth my mind if numb...work start monday and I will be leaving for a while.... I wonder when I shall sing and dance.....
I did notice one flaw I had, what ever tolerence I had for a friend on Monday was shattred... I had gone the point of no return... maybe tomorrow will be another chapter but things will never be the same..some truth came out....some wound that were suppose to heal were not and in the end my position never changedno mater how they rant and raved I just lost my tolerence and walked away. This was the 2nd time .... the last was 2 years ago. I was not afraid of the ghost that would haunt me but the other felt I have yet to pay the price... as my buddy Jen would say Bollocks to them
Well If "truth" exits how do you know that when you speak of "truth" people understand what you mean by it. This would be very difficult with out an absolute truth being already set (in antithisis to "lie") and if there is no absolute truth that has been set, are you the reference point on which something is defined as being true or untrue?
Gautham meets Aishwarya (Bhoomika) in an engineering college in Coimbatore. Both fall in love. But, Aishwarya's father is totally opposed to the affair. Despite this, they get married. Soon after Aishwarya's marriage, her father takes her away. Gautham tries to find her but he cannot.
Circumstances force him to marry Kundavi. Now Kundavi knows of Gautham's past and decides to unite Gautham and Aishwarya. She goes in search of Aishwarya. And to know who gets Gautham in the end, watch the film on the screen.
I was kind of pissed at one end and cheering at the other end because of the potrayal of love the guy had for 2 different woman at 2 different scenerios. His thoughts and love for the 1st woman in his life had long ended. To day from a marriage to the 2nd woman in this life and a child in hand he declares he is the Happiest Man in the World and yet the Kundavi upon a change reading of his old diary feel empty coz she feel he is imcomplete of this 1st love. Here the bells when she searched for the 1st love and offer 1 night with her husband. Bodoh!!!
Hats off to the director, nice portrayal of love between a couple.The final scenes were very touching. Very different from the regular movies with revenge and violence
For instance Aussie its Rugby, Cricket, Aussie Rules, Americans, American Football, American Baseball. Not having Astro, I was fortunate to catch the MLB World Series which would be baseball highest crown. Major Leagur Baseball World Series which pitted St.Louis Cardinals versus Detriot Tigers.
An awesome series that stretched 5 matches with the Cardinals winning Game 5 to take a 4-1 victory.
Game 3,4 & 5 were classic games with super pitching and batting and field reminded me of the World Series when the Marlins upset the Yankees. This was the same story a classic, the team with the lowest number of wins in the League going on to win the World Series. Love the underdogs
The Cardinals won their first World Series championship since 1982 on Friday night, topping the American League champion Tigers, 4-2, in Game 5 of the 102nd Fall Classic. It is World Series title No. 10 in 17 tries for one of baseball's signature organizations -- the most of any National League team.
Lately I have found that I now hold the gun and the bullet and many a time I have 'lastick' the elders not for the pleasure of doing it but to show them the light...
I need to gloat and pump my chest here but I am the ONLY cousin that makes it a point when I head to Klang to visits my Grandaunt/Grandma... with or without money in the pocket, I make sure as a grandnephew/grandson her need as taken care off, even if it means to sit with her for an hour by her bedside and just talk or let her talk. I have blasted my cousing many a time over this. Family is important not matter how far no matter how away, no matter how busy MAKE THE TIME
One of my elder cousins who talks to the younger cousins based on the education level, many a time when we are part of a conversation M would join us and end up make it a single conversation with J or R coz like they more highly educated then me, so being polite keep quiet le or slowly walk away. This week in front of M. My exit story was "Sorry J&R, I betetr excuse myself fromt hsi conversation before I get alienated for my lack of education." Ding Ding Ding!!!
Darthvadai 1 Idiots-We-Call-Relatives 0
A cousing that I am not close to (a war with her) getting married to her lover of many years in India, despite after graduated, parents tried to bring her here to work etc etc the classic try to make the girl forget the boy. (Parents are ego ppl aslo but they help out others), so marriage is arranged and she will live in India with the Brahim family. Despite all that I hate her, and I emphasize the word hate, I wish her all the best. Uncles aint happy
At No 7 house, Deepavali pre-dinner mutton (yum yum), No 7 starts, " You know ah ____, this girl, S is getting maried.... I dun like, not smart etc etc etc yada yada. Vadai juz says "Pakcik, Dun involve me in this conversation, dun talk to me, none of your brothers and you included are good in judging marriage and you have a history of making noise and after the 1st baby is born, you all go running to the baby and mother with tails tucked between ur legs. What ever I have against S, you dun talk to me bout it or let me hear you talking bout it!!!" Ding Ding Ding!!!
Darthvadai 2 Idiots-We-Call-Relatives 0
At No 2 place, come up to me and say in all sadness "You know that girl getting married, what a big mistake yada yada yada... and we can say anything nowadays" My polite curt reply "Yes amman, those days you all follow the leader... when one brother say all of you sing the same song even though you know its wrong... you have made a public mess of marriages, in the family, today you regret...welcome to the real world"Ding Ding Ding!!!
Darthvadai 3 Idiots-We-Call-Relatives 0
At No 1 place(got big history here), upon leaving he mutters I wont live long, tears among bro's and wives start flowing, on the ride back they all began to comment how the kids dont visit them or dun take care of the father enough... being away I did not now this story(refer to old blogs).. Blasted me uncles and aunts.... call yourself family ..those days you all turun in cars to cause problem but today you brother left alone.. no guts to call the children... a wail of reply saying they cant say a thing...my curt reply "Let me show you how its done!!! Ding Ding Ding!!!
Darthvadai 4 Idiots-We-Call-Relatives 0
I am not the the eldest cousin but I got a big mouth, so I put it to gud use.. No1 3 kids are the eldest so driving back calling the 3 of them over for tea which they surprising oblige... they show up and I line my cousins up. (Looking as my old blogs you czan se ethe amount of respect I got for my no 1) Hear their side of the story and then blast away. They know they are wrong, I did not ask to be judge and jury but when uncles who cant solve a simple problem like this whe the heck are they uncles for if they can advise their nephew and nieces. I set a time line for improvements and not letting No1 dies in misery. Secured a commitment turn to my uncles who were present and said this is how you do it. Ding Ding Ding!!!
Darthvadai 5 Idiots-We-Call-Relatives 0
Act 4 Classic
A cousin gave birth, (not close to her but respect the father a lot, on the wedding dinner I had to give an impromptu to speech for the Groom side) so borught the bay out before te 30days grace period etc etc Traditions!! No 4 started berating behind the back why and who can they do this/ My curt reply "Look watever they belive in they brought your granddaughter to show you as a matter ofboth respect and love. Can you please zip your mouth to to the hall and welcome them!!! Why do you care so much about tradition? Its a baby out there!!! Ding Ding Ding!!!
Darthvadai 6 Idiots-We-Call-Relatives 0
From the start go, I never asked to placed in a position for me to score points but lately I am being placed in that position and it come to my face and I am fed up not addressing it. So the score goes
I remember working for Befrienders here long ago as well as a freelance counselor at a Local Hosp where I studied aboard, it scared the shit out of me to realise so many people in the closet who are suicidal.... the scary part if they have developed a firm belief that, commiting it was the only way out... For you and I it may seem rediculous but haveing been in their head.... to me its no longer that.
I had this over the net back a while and I though I should share it. Take time to read this..Its the other side of the story, its from a Parent, see and read and spread the word
DATE: January 1, 1999
TO: Any Suicidal Young Person
FROM: Tony Salvatore
RE: Being a Parent Left Behind
Just over two years ago, in 1996, my oldest son, Paul, completed suicide.
I hear from kids, teens, and young adults who have been suicidal. They say that my stuff lets them see what may have happened had they completed suicide. They feel that maybe if others thinking about suicide could see what happens to those who love them they might reconsider.
I'm going to tell you what it is like to "be left behind." Maybe it will stop you from doing something stupid. Where I'm at right now comes down to three little words: Loss, Anger, and Pain -- lots of each. This the eternal triangle of paternal grief. I live right in the middle and can't move out. It's a lousy neighborhood.
Loss is what happens to someone when you die. Paul's death left me incomplete. It tore something out of me and I will never be the same again. Loss isn't passive or arithmetic -- subtract one son. It's active, it grows, it's a "black hole" that pulls everything in. I'm not whole and the hole won't close. All loss is shit, suicide loss is the worst shit. Losing a kid to suicide is off the shit scale.
My anger came on when the shock wore off -- when the attitude of the police, other official types, the medical examiner, etc., hit home. (Don't make your family have those people in their face.) I got madder as I realized that my son's death didn't have to be. After I learned that those who could have prevented it didn't care came rage. My anger has stopped growing but it hasn't gotten any less intense.
My anger is also self-directed. I feel very responsible. I'm not angry at Paul, but I'll never forgive myself for missing his suffering. I'll never forgive those whom he told of his pain and his plan and who did nothing and who made damn sure that I knew it. Want your "friends" telling your folks that "we knew he was gonna do it." Want your father to think about hurting them every day?
And then there's pain. Pain comes on when loss starts boring into your soul. It gets worse as the inescapable reality of what happened sinks in. Then it becomes chronic. It still hurts, but in a different way. There are times when it still gets very bad. It's always there. It's something that I live with. Something that I don't need.
Dealing with pain has nothing to do with being strong -- nothing about this has made me better or stronger. It's totally trashed me. My memories hurt, my thoughts about my son's suffering hurt, the futility of his death hurts, seeing what it has done to my family, places that I associate with him hurt, interests that we shared hurt, seeing things he liked hurts, enjoying anything hurts, watching other men with their sons hurts, any family event hurts, holidays hurt, the anniversary of his death hurts, looking at anything that belonged to him hurts, and hearing about somebody else's kid doing it hurts too, a lot.
Sure, you know about a "world of hurt." But the hurting just spreads out after suicide. I don't know how your folks will feel if they lose you, but I know for sure that it won't be good. You think nobody cares? Think that they won't give a damn? Listen: It's not what you think of them or what you think that they think of you that matters. It's what they think of you. You may not feel that they care, but you could be, and probably are, very, very wrong.
[I know that some of you may be in family situations where what I said really just doesn't apply. If so, I'm very sorry. You may read on if you like, but please read the very last paragraph. Thanks!]
Should you tell them? Yes, absolutely. It may be hard to do so, and your folks may not know how to react. Trust me, it is better to be told that your child is suicidal (or anything else!) than that your child has completed suicide. That is the single most horrible thing that anyone can ever hear. Don't put it off -- ask for help. Being suicidal means going down the tube. In a few hours, days, or weeks you may hurt so much and care so little about yourself that you can't do squat.
If you do it, all they'll ever do is ask "why?" and never, never, never get the answer. You take that with you even if you leave a note. And they'll play the "if only" game over and over and over again. It goes "what if we had done this" and "if only we'd done that" and "why didn't he do whatever." They'll come up with a million "could of's" and "should of's" but they'll always lose because they lost you.
Get some help N-O-W!!! That will drop your parents' odds of joining my sad company. Don't make them "suicide survivors." It freaking sucks! First, get help with being suicidal. Next, get help with what took you there. Then get help to keep you from ever going back. Do it!
Suicide is like that bunny on TV - "it goes on, and on, and on and just keeps going." Somebody said that those who complete suicide "leave their psychological skeletons in the survivors closets." One thing's for sure, suicide always leaves something messy, awful, hurtful, and unending behind. Suicide does nothing but screw things up for everybody forever.
All of this isn't about me. Its about you. Its to get you to look out for yourself. You don't have to die, but if you don't fight it you will crash. You don't decide to do it, you do it to end the pain. Suicide isn't a choice, but you can make choices before you lose the ability to do so. Choose to care about yourself right now. Don't do it. Nothing or nobody's worth it. Screw 'em! Live!
Postscript: What I wrote above reflects how I felt a few years after losing Paul. Many who read this for the first time may think that I still feel that way. I'm not "over it" or "past it" or "healed," but I am at a different place now. I have rebuilt my life around my loss. I haven't forgotten but I've channeled my energy into things that maybe help keep others from following my path or Paul's. Take care!
Copyright, Tony Salvatore, 1999-2005
Friday, October 27, 2006
“I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society.”
“When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.”
See if you can understand that... are you that
Thursday, October 26, 2006
There I was being buzzzed by my HP indicating an SMS had arrived, my gud fren had sms me "Lemmings!! Malaysia is full of lemmings.... and so the msg went.
Initially I did not realise the impact of the implication of the message. Only after a rebuttle sms that went like "Your point would be?" was a voiced reply.... I laughed at the reasoning but it also dawned upon me how true the sms was.
Aside from the idiot driving on the emergency lane.. of course
.It is the "lemming syndrome".... one morning everyone will wake up and start running down to the ocean and start swimming out..... it will never occur to anyone to turn back and they will all drown..... they just do it... well it aint a Nike advert
So what does Lemming mean..
A "lemming" became slang for someone who would blindly follow someone else no matter what, even if it was an incredibly stupid thing to do, against all common sense, against self preservation.
Aint some of us in our lives are like that!!! So are you a lemming?
The pain typically begins in the kidney area or below it and radiates through the flank until it reaches the bladder. The pain is colicky in nature, meaning that it comes on in spasmodic waves as opposed to being a steady continuous pain. It may come in two varieties: dull and acute; the acute variation is particularly unpleasant and has been described as one of the strongest pain sensations felt by humans.
Depending on the type and sizes of the kidney stones moving through the urinal tract the pain may be stronger in the renal or bladder area or equally strong in both.
Most small stones are passed spontaneously and only pain management is required. For this type of pain, strong Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAID) such as Diclofenac provide better pain relief than opiates. Lying down on the non-aching side and applying a hot bottle or towel to the area affected may help. If the pain is not too intense, a more speedy release of the stones may be achieved by walking.
Larger stones may require intervention for their removal (see kidney stones).
Kidney stones, one of the most painful of the urologic disorders, are not a product of modern life. Scientists have found evidence of kidney stones in a 7,000-year-old Egyptian mummy.
|The urinary tract, or system, consists of the kidneys, ureters, bladder, and urethra|| |
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Time flies by and you will get over it, you know who you are... I ahve been blunt in telling you how to handle it, cry if you must mate but dun be a freaking baby... its over and move on... harsh as it may seem there are more fishes in the sea. You will have another relationship. Grieff for a while the move on
...Diversity is great, but tolerance and understanding are rare. Men often expect women to think and behave as men, and vice-versa. When this doesn't happen, we can be impatient to the point of rudeness. Women frequently assume an insult or indifference that isn't there. Men are frequently miffed when women dredge up an issue we thought was already resolved. The misperceptions can easily poison a relationship, and often do.
But men and women are attracted to each other precisely because we are different. We complement each other. Perhaps if we understand in what ways we are constitutionally different, we'll not only tolerate the differences but learn to enjoy them......
To quote a book " Most men can't remember where they were when they kissed a girl for the first time, or even what her name was. But ask them what they recall about the first car they drove, and they'll tell you the make, the model year, the engine size, and even the exact punishment they got for driving their friend's dad's car without permission and without a license."
Last night was interesting we had a session bout remembering things... I failed miserably... I could remember significant events, I could remember slam bang events but others fail me. I wont go into specifics
I thought I was the only one.... For example ... a uncle could get into an argument with his wife and forget what the argument was about 15 minutes later. A wife will get into an argument with her husband and remember every little detail 15 years later. Sigh!!! When it comes to remembering arguments, wives play totally unfair. I won't say they take notes during arguments, but women seem to have an uncanny knack for remembering certain things that men forget, like details.
In the end the event turned sour a little coz things that the other party thought we should have rememebered we did not. All I can say if the minute you judged in details then a package your losing the battle... its not that guys dun want to remember or purposely forget... its just us being us....then again we could lie!!!
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room.
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee. "Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continued. "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for twenty years?’"
"I remember that, too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said . . .
"I would have gotten out today."
Monday, October 23, 2006
With alll the bullshit about takaful and the email stuff... I also began to question how the hell the Navarathiri became individual gods festivals that lead to Happy Durga, Happy Saraswathy, Happy Lakshimi wishing... people have really lost the plot anyway thats for another blog.
So the time to slam a few dong about why we celebrate religious festivals, its significance and etcetc made me hapi lol.
So why Skanda Shasti
Skanda Sashti is the sixth day in the bright half of the tamil month of Aippasi (Oct 15 - Nov 15). It is celebrated with great pomp and splendour in the temples dedicated to Lord Muruga. Skanda Sashti commemorates the destruction of evil by the Supreme General Kartikeya, son of Shiva.
|PROSTRATIONS and humble salutations to Lord Subramanya, the Supreme Being, who is the ruler of this universe, who is the indweller of our hearts, who is the second son of Lord Shiva, who is the beloved of Valli and Deivayanai, who bestows boons easily on His devotees, who is an embodiment of power, wisdom, love and bliss.|
|The mighty demon, Tarakasura, had been oppressing the celestials very much. He drove them out from heaven. All the gods then went to Brahma to appeal for help.|
|Brahma said to the gods : "O Devas! I cannot Destroy Taraka, as he has obtain My grace through severe penances. But let Me give you a suggestion. Get the help of Cupid, the god of love. Induce him to tempt Lord Shiva who remains absorbed in His Yoga Samadhi. Let Lord Shiva unite with Parvati. A powerful son, Lord Subramanya, will be born to them. This son will destroy the demon that harasses you."|
|Indra, the chief of the gods thereupon asked Cupid to go with his wife, Rati, and his companion Vasanta (the season of spring) to Mount Kailas, the abode of Shiva. Cupid carried out the instruction at once, for it was already springtime. Standing behind a tree, Cupid shot his arrow of passion towards Shiva whilst Parvati was placing some flowers in His hands. The moment their hands met, Shiva experienced a distracting feeling. He wondered what it was that disturbed His Yoga. He looked around and saw Cupid crouching behind the tree.|
|The Lord opened His "third eye", the inner eye of intuition, and Cupid was burnt to ashes by the fire that emanated from it. This is why the god of love is also called Ananga, which means "bodiless'.|
|After burning Cupid, the Lord ascertained by His Yogic vision that the birth of Lord Subramanya was absolutely necessary to destroy the powerful Taraka. Shiva's seed was thrown into fire which, unable to retain it, threw it into the Ganges which in turn threw it into a reed forest. This is where Lord Subramanya was born; and hence he is caned Saravanabhava - "born in a reed-forest". He became the leader of the celestial hosts and the destroyer of Taraka as Brahma had ordained.|
|Lord Subramanya is an incarnation of Lord Shiva. All incarnations are manifestations of the one Supreme Lord. Lord Subramanya and Lord Krishna are one.|
Another version....Sashti is the day the Lord Subramanya defeated the demon Soorapadma and saved the Earth from his evils. When the devas couldn't tolerate the evil doings of this demon, they approached the younger son of Lord Shiva and Parvati. The kind Lord went on a war against Soorapadman. The war was waged for six days, at the end of which the Lord vanquished the asura. He threw his weapon at him and Soorapadman was split into two halves. One half became a peacock, which He took as His vaahana. The other became a cock and was transformed into his flag.Thus the phrase Suran por!!!
Too true. Some friendships die on their own, of simple agitation, having been quietly allowed to lapse by the unacknowledged agreement of both parties. Others break down because time has altered old friends, given them different interests, values, points of view. And then of course there are the friendships that end when one friend betrays or is felt to betray the other, or fails to come through in a crisis, or finds himself violently disputing the other on matters of simplest reasons
We volunter into a bond and fight to keep the bond, sometimes we fight harder then ther other coz we feel strongly about it, maybe the other just dun see, sometimes we walk away as it drains us too much. I have walked away from friendship without regrets.
As I sat with my friends discusion and catching up, a particular topic. Any regrets walking away. I asked my self and realised the answer was NO, I also realised I bent backaward to adapt, to help, to be there but I never look if the same was done for me. Did not have to, dun need to. Last night ran into another bunch of friends but it was not like before, we had grown out of friendship...
Today I celebrate a frienship of many years, ups downs and pain and sorrow, but a fren is my fren and its my buddy. Happy Anniversay. Friendship and marriage have much in common. Like marriage, friendship is a voluntary relationship. Today I celebrate a frienship with a dear friend seems like a decade of relationship with many mile stones, hope there are many more
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Happy Holidays all
This year no sms wished, save credit, save duti lol
so Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya
Sunday, October 15, 2006
To Err is human, to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
The road to success??.. Is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before
you hear them speak.
Everyone has a scheme of getting rich.. Which never works.
If at first you don't succeed .. Destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
You can never determine which side of the bread to butter. If it falls
down, it will always land on the buttered side.
Anything dropped on the floor will roll over to the most inaccessible corner.
***** 42.7% of all statistics are made on the spot. *****
If you have paper, you don't have a pen??. If you have a pen, you
don't have paper?? if you have both, no one calls.
Especially for engg. Students----
If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance.
You will pick up maximum wrong numbers when on roaming.
After a long wait for bus no.20, two 20 number buses will always pull
in together and the bus which you get in will be crowded than the
The last person to be fired or quit is responsible for all the errors
until another person is fired or quits.
Irrespective of the direction of the wind, the smoke from the
cigarette will always tend to go to the non-smoker
Slowly we get into the grind of this just a matter how long it would take to complete it....
A gud buddy of my fren always had said I am too nice to everyone... I lookout for everyone too much... I cant help it that me.. but when I am hard I cut ties off.
Last night I told _ point blank, there comes point when being pushed too much I wont turn the other cheek anymore. To be accused of cheating or hiding behind one back is a world of a difference compared to keeping everyone happy.
Lots of if and buts ....if decidced only I matter and no one else..then that a whole different story.... time to get to work... the devils that haunt me will reappear again despite last night
Saturday, October 14, 2006
There's an old man sitting next to me, Makin' love to his tonic and gin
He says, "Son, can you play me a memory?, I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet and I knew it complete,
When I wore a younger man's clothes"
La la la, de de da, La la, de de da da da
Sing us a song, you're the piano man, Sing us a song tonight
Well, we're all in the mood for a melody, And you've got us feelin' alright
Now John at the bar is a friend of mine, He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But there's someplace that he'd rather be,
He says, "Bill, I believe this is killing me."
As the smile ran away from his face
"Well I'm sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place"
Oh, la la la, de de da La la, de de da da da
Now Paul is a real estate novelist, Who never had time for a wife
And he's talkin' with Davy who's still in the navy, And probably will be for life
And the waitress is practicing politics, As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, But it's better than drinkin' alone
It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday, And the manager gives me a smile
'Cause he knows that it's me they've been comin' to see
To forget about life for a while, And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer, And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doin' here?"
Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da
It is a song for the Human Soul. Tonight its mine
Well I am kind of proud that no one in the office had grumbles or made a fuss about it. Quietly everyone knew and stepped up to the plate to get this out of the office by Monday morning. By the look of things we seem to be on course for that, at the same time every one in the office even though they are fasting did not push their weight around, they followed my instruction and we got the job done, heck even my boss was impressed.
We even need to souce for the various organization's department list
So today, after all this a hot shower and a nice sleep.
All one needs to do is choose
To love for life, and that embrace,
Held long and hard, bestows the grace
Each craves. For all in time must lose,
Restored alone by memory.
So now it is with you and me.
To say goodbye's impossible forever,
And yet we must too soon exchange goodbyes.
No magnitude of love when someone dies
Can manage the immensity of never.
Yet even death cannot our friendship sever
Though you may rest somewhere beyond our sighs
And all the talk of afterlife be lies.
Eternity is our brief glimpse of ever.
Even as each breeze must alter time
And each unruly rock reshape the sea,
So love lasts beyond our consciousness.
Each pulse of life's a piece of the sublime,
A breath so full of grace it cannot be,
A wave that ripples endlessly through darkness.
Oct 14 comes again and I never forgot...just that I did not want to talk about it.... I sit back and refleect and that all I can do....I hold the candle now... that burden is mine
I stand beside your grave, yet you are here.
I miss you terribly and hope you miss me,
But when I turn to you, you're always near.
I talk to you as though you lived within me,
Not changed but simply moved in from outside.
I know each day you must a little leave me,
But here, as always, you must be my guide.
You were and are and will be, just as ever,
In many minds and hearts, not only mine.
No physical event can such love sever;
Death is a dimension, not a line.
And so goodbye does not mean you are gone:
So long as I still love you, you live on.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Thena quick jump to Bisik as they were having their 3rd anniversary. Tired or not, exhausted or not I could not miss it for the world. Landed in time as the food was being served. The list of peopl who showed up was amazing and Edward did a good job getting the information out. Pravin, Plunkie, Beem, Kalai, Kris, Xxxie, Scud, Peacock killer, Ree, Kavita, Angel..and many more, the place was filled to the brim. I was garlanded and we all our door gifts and lucky draws.
We were luck that night Ree (salsa lady), Xxxie & I won lucky draws, Scud won a set of wine glasses (more reason to drink)..later on Commie came in late, Marilyn and her toy boy showed up... the last 2 did not stay on long...
Ree was worried with all the food loaded on our table and we reassured her that when Angel is a round dun wori bout surplus food. In the end the food all finish.
We all took it slow and enjoy the night till the wee hours of the moring
We won and partied good, I was dragged up to the stage by Rina the resident singer to sin Kuch Kuch Hota Hai just the chorus and Pravin recorded it... Plunkie and Beem went ot the stage for a sexy dance... The girl went crazy over them.. Kalai was like all over Kavita and Kris (bugger trying luck hahahaha)
Then Angel, Kris and Xxxie went up stage to drive the guys wild with their sexy dance and they won prizes.... Lucky lucky..
Me, I enjoyed the night had a good time with Edward.. a friendship and bond that lasted almost coming to 5 years... we all shared the cost with was almost nothing as the food and partial drink were free...
Bisk turns 3!!! Well done Edward... each had their good time and their own way...some even got hit on not just the girl but the guys as well....hint hint.. it nice that once a while can come togethe rand still do their own thing....
All good thing must come to an end.... I stayed back talking with Edward having a nice black one and we drove home together.
I had heard so much bout it so when Kalai brought it up we all met there bout 7pm there was nice place to cuci mata, buy cheap stuff (if the finance provides for it), a free concert, and food heaven.. the concert kira ok la
There was the MIC gang guys and gals all going jalan-jalan, we let the girl go their way and the guys was on cuci mata patrol.... we wanted to makan so snaked out looking for food and we found by the roadside near YMCA one of the best simple Yong Tau Foo.... what else duduk and makan laaaaaaaa.... it was clean and hygenic enough for us.
Example: While at work day before yesterday one of my coworkers, let's call him Physicist, comes up behind me while I am very busy and begins DRUMMING ON MY HEAD! Not lightly either, but actually quite hard. I have no idea what he was trying to accomplish. Who does this? What is the point? Doesn't this seem like something a four-year-old would do? What he acheived was giving me a headache and pissing me off. I don't know Physicist that well, we haven't been working together that long. Physicist also tends to be more hands on than I like my work acquantances to be.
The same applied to people who read my blog, I have always maintain that this is my ramblings and I speak my mind and my thought more often then not here coz thats the kind of guy I am. More often then not it gets me in the bad side of people who read coz they assume too much. Then again its their human nature..... So what does Vadai do.... time and time again despite knowing its a fruitless afffair.....
With all this happening we got our corporate level buka puasa for each business groups and being invited for others. Some I have had to decline some no choice must go.
Till next monday this is my project.
Also business still goes on... how I juggle it I dun know but late nights and returing to office is sure taking it toll... M glad my boss notices...
The culmination of this is our internal official buka puasa at RM 120 per head...hubba hubba
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
"I've noticed that I retain good memories about or involving people I still like...but I remember next to nothing good about people I come to despise. If I do happen to recall a positive experience with (or aspect of) a person I hate, or a person who left me, it is laced with regret and furious disgust. I tend to pound out every good feeling I associate with hated ex-friends, because...I guess...the idea of having ever felt good with or about such people just mortifies me. Contrarily, recalling happy moments with people I wish hadn't left me, I get only that sense of regret, only for very different reasons."
Sunday, October 08, 2006
I bought the VCD for this movie after a long time searching, back in the days of VHS its difficult to get a good copy of this. This movie moved me then and it moves me now, coming up to the 20th year since it came out, I had the house all to my self and made full use of it to blast the sound and lets emotions flow freely.
Nayagan...It is one of the few Indian movies to be listed in TIME magazine's ALL-TIME top 100 movies, issued in 2005:Nayagan means 'The Hero' or 'The Leader' in Tamil. Its a damm good and moving movie, Something out of the ordinary scope of films made. Even today this movie could stand on its own. I could watch it again and again... The film also went on to win an Indian National Award for Kamal Haasan for his brilliant performance. Nayagan was nominated by India as its entry for the Best Foreign Language Film for the Academy Awards in 1987.
In review - A small boy (Ratnavelu) from Tamilnadu sees his father, a labor leader, killed in cold blood by a policeman. He kills the policeman and runs away to the city of Bombay. From there, the story traces his ascent to become a mafia chief (Velu Naicker), the breakup and deaths in his family, and then till his assasination at the hands of the lunatic son of another policeman who he killed in a fight.
After having witnessed his dad being killed by the local police, and being orphaned and left homeless, Shakti Velu developes a hate, and distrust of the police. He is befriended by another homeless boy named Selva, who asks him to accompany him to the city's slumlands, where they live with a kind-hearted Muslim named Karim Lala, and his daughter, Shama. This is where Shakti and Selva spend their childhood. When they mature, they take to petty crime. Here too, Shakti witnesses police brutality and atrocities, especially at the hands of sadistic, alcoholic, and womanizing Police Inspector Ratan Singh. When Karim Lala is arrested, jailed, and found hanging by his neck in police custody, Shakti hunts down Ratan Singh, and kills him in broad daylight in front of the several hundred people. An investigation is launched, but no one comes forward as a witness. Thus Shakti gets his reputation as a Don with a good heart. Shakti marries local prostitute, Neelu, and has two children, Suraj and Sarita. He becomes even more powerful and influential all over the region, and his working partners are powerful criminal dons who have ruled the underground for eons. Velu grows into a Don and slowly the power of it takes him to a different world, where he is the command, but he slowly losses his dear ones and it finally ends with his death at an old age, with a moral message that one who lives by the sword(gun), dies by it.
This creates enemies for him and his family, but he believes since he has not really done any harm to anyone, he and his family will be safe. It is this belief that will take a heavy toll on his life and that of his family, when the truth dawns that he, himself, is responsible for being kind to a man, who will ultimately bring forward ruin to the Velu family. "
The dialogues are memorable and the dialogue between kamal and his grandson is something that i can never forget. ..."Are you a good man or a bad man?". So asks the grandson to his grandfather Velu Naicker, close to the end of this extraordinary movie from Manirathnam. "I don't know", replies Velu Naicker even as he is being led by the police to court to stand trial for his crimes. The answer seems strange, especially in the light of the thousands of people standing outside the court, hoping and praying for his release and well-being. But it is fully understandable.
Illayaraja's music is haunting. "Tenpaandi Cheemayile", sung by Kamal Hassan, is a classic. Even the accapela version a haunting that gives me goosebumps.. brilliant!!!!
The movie is successful in making me laugh as easily as it moves me to tears. It is impossible not to smile when Velu Naicker's son imitates his father in their courtyard. He offers his solutions to his friend's problems(he orders a 'hit' a teacher who beat one of them!) and then bumps into his father who has moved into the end of the line. Quickly recovering his senses, he asks his father what he wants. On the other hand, there are scenes, like when an old woman gives up her own life to save Naicker from the police, which melt our hearts. The scene where Naicker gives in to his son's desire to follow in his father's footsteps is an example of high-class filmmaking. Kamal calls his son "Naicker" for the first time and offers him betel leaves from his own box, which Ravi quickly tucks into his mouth after turning away from his father.(Utter classic)
Kamal embodied Velu Naicker himself and looks at home in all the different stages of his life captured here. Be it threatening a doctor to treat a poor boy or crying with a high-pitched shriek on seeing the body of his son, Kamal is outstanding. He ages convincingly, altering his whole posture and walk at each stage. Janakaraj stands him in good stead throughout, shining in the scene where he is caught between Kamal and his daughter, who detests the violence. Saranya, in her first film, earns our sympathy as the school-going girl thrown into the life of prostitution. Pradeep Shakti is memorable as the rogue police officer. Smaller characters like ARS(a police officer who is forced to come to Velu Naicker for justice) and 'Nizhalgal' Ravi(Velu Naicker's son) are powerful too.
Musical are one of the thing I love from watching "West Side Story" to "Evita" to "Phantom of the Opera", the Annie musical began back in 1978. In 1982, the movie version was released starring Albert Finney(Erin Brokovic), Aileen Quinn, Ann Reinking, and Carol Burnett.
It tells the story of an orphan named annie who's only dream is that of her mother who will one day come back for her...one day, she is chosen to go and spend time with this local rich bloke. He falls in love with her as she does with him and he becomes her father figure. He tries to find her parents but it turns out that they didn't want to come back to her so she stayed with him and left the orpanage and mrs hannigan. this is a brilliant film which cotains what i'm sure are some of the most talented musical singers and songs ever written...
One of my favorite songs from the Annie Musical is ‘Tomorrow’. Going through hard time and in the musical reflecting the depression of the 30's, it gave people great hope to remember that ‘The sun will come out tomorrow’. It is easy to be stuck in the past, in fear and discouragement.
The ‘Annie’ musical reminds us to be to belive in tomorrow. To believe in the future gives us the courage to face each day’s challenges. “Just thinkin’ about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow.” Life can beat us down and make us want to give up. The Annie musical reminds us that “ya gotta hang on ’til tomorrow come what may”. The future can seem very mysterious and inaccessible. The Annie musical reminds us that : “Tomorrow! Tomorrow! I love ya Tomorrow! You’re always a day a way!” Booya... Tomorrow ...tomorrow...
Saturday, October 07, 2006
I have been cluttered into multi-tasking and at the same breath a project I had understand proved to produce a grave bold error in the naming of the company... I had expected the worst of it and yet the same document proof read by 4 people non one of us saw a mistake that stood right in front of our eyes. The buck stops with me and I stepped up to the plate and took responsibility but the hammer did not fall. Maybe it was not my fault, but I felt it. Maybe
Monday I stepped back into futsal (not playing aggressively) to stretch out my leg and it felt scary at time when I over exert but it was good and the medication working.
Tuesday-Thursday was in many ways a whirlwind late hours, a chance meeting, hanging out with frens and a bisik renvendous
Friday - I weather thru an ironic situation of salary scale in an office...how are you measured? How are you valued in the organization? By your qualification? By your experience? by your looks? by your competence? And such was a ruckus of a situation when one on my collegues was on fire when learned another colleague was earning more then this person.
In her own way the shit had hit the fan, I did my best to keep a lid on it and eventually mellowed out. My advise you aint happy with what you earn, get another job or ask for more please... throwing a ruckus only belittle your value...what you earn reflect your power and ur value and all that you are to the organization. Never compare to another colleague even if it was the 3 stooges working there.
Friday also I received news that an aunt of mine had cancer and had to go for an op. I dun communicate well with her as we are both head strong, but an illness like this if she was in KL I would have gone. Sis went to PNG. I know I may be brutal, as mom said as brutal and direct and hard as I am, I would never kick a man while they are down. So I called her and spoke with her and spoke to my uncle. I may need to go to Png if she does not recover.
Friday I was out of the office after lunch handling a few clients and some task...met Jen for a transformer session (that another blog report) and then to waikiki just to watch Bala... heck I earned it. I know what I am going to face in the coming weeks and what's I had gone thru recently.
Bala in Action
The shock of my life and the greatest surprise was meeting a bunch of great guys from my previous job. Here I was having a beer to Jen's Malibu in walks in Silesh. These were guys who work for the distributor company and soon the whole bunch of fellow that I worked with almost 4 years ago were there. A reunion it was, the sharing of old memories with Bala rocking in the background was awesome. Com showed up with Lilian, nice to have her there even thought I am not held in high regard. Later on Com 2 related ladies showed up suddenly we were a full house. L showed later and joining the crowd but the list of uninvited unplanned people went on and on and on Beem, Kalai wow...everybody mixed well with everybody
One of the few time that night a lot of thing hit me good bad and joy and pain was sometimes a bit too much for me... I left early..I noticed a tail on my ass...politely I said to back off.. I could still walk to my car...and respectfully drive home.. and I did just that and resigned to the night watching the moon by the pool side
Monday, October 02, 2006
Heard this over the radio..... this song never ceases to give me goosebumps. each time i hear it..... a man trying to deal with his self destructive girlfriend. Been there myself.. ironically when this song came out was about the time back in 94 when I had gone thru such an event...i can relate to this song so much that it isnt even right....i know exactly what he is saying and it is the roughest thing anyone could ever go through...
I sung this song at a variety show at the turn of the century. Just me and my friend on the acoustic. I love singin this one. And no I didn't butcher it haha. I can actually sing. :)
She sits alone by a lamppost, trying to find a thought that’s escaped her mind
She says Dad’s the one I love the most. but Stipe’s not far behind
She doesn't lets me in, only tell me where’s she’s been,
when she’s had too much to drink,
I say that I don’t care I just run my hands through her dark hair
and I pray to God you gotta help me fly away. And just…
Let her cry…if the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing…if it eases all her pain, Let her go…let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow, Let her be…let her be.
This morning I woke up alone, found a note by the phone
saying maybe I’ll be back some day, I wanted to look for you
You walked in I didn’t know just what to do
so I sat back down had a beer and felt sorry for myself.
Last nite I tried to leave, She cried so much I just
could not believe, she was the same girl I
fell in love with long ago, She went in the back to get high
I sat down on my couch and cried
yelling oh mama please help me, won’t you hold my hand.
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Michael Schumacher, Ferrari, 1st
This was a classic Schumi performance and what a race, Shumi was the dog the toughest dog in the pound from 6th on Bridgestone man...."The Rottweiller" for his aggressive demeanour in the dog world Shumi showed no mercy..he locked his jaws down on this race, shook it up and then wouldn't let go. It was a classic performance in that it showed all his best qualities - perseverance, speed at the right time, the ability to adapt to changing conditions, and making the most of a little bit of luck. Not tied on point wiht Alonso the next 2 races are fantastic not going to miss it
"It should have been Fernando Alonso’s race, but in the end Michael Schumacher’s 91st career victory earned him sufficient points to match the Spaniard’s score in the driver standings as they head for the penultimate round in Japan next weekend."
So, what is spring cleaning? It is going through the house thoroughly cleaning every nook and cranny and sorting out cabinets, drawers, and closets. It means starting at the ceiling and working your way down to the floor, cleaning every square inch. All ceilings, walls, baseboards, floors, and the insides of closets and cabinets should be cleaned thoroughly.
And the 3 of us in the house did just that, not it was planned or what but long overdue, so we got down to it after breakfast, me with limited mobility had the lesser of the tasks then the other 2 in the end after a grueling 4 hours, the job was well done. Each had their won task to go and went about doing it, no fuss no arguements.
The turtle got a through washing too.