Divorce is an angry, painful time. That's understandable. When two people have shared their lives and then one decides that life is no longer worth sharing, there will be enormous suffering by both partners. As difficult as divorce is on the spouse who doesn't want the marriage to end, even more difficult is divorce on the child or children of the marriage. Adults have control over their lives, even if they don't have control over all occurrences within that life.
Children do not have the same opportunity for control of their lives.
When an adult decides a relationship is too painful to continue, he or she has the option of leaving. When a child is part of a painful relationship, he or she must remain until an alternative becomes available. For a child, that alternative might take the form of running away from home, life on the streets, living with a friend or relative, living with the custodial parent, or, in the worse case, suicide
It is wrong to tell your child that your spouse doesn't love them any more, or to demand that your child take your side in the divorce. Unless, and even if, there are extenuating circumstances, such as child abuse, your child has the right to choose to love the both of you equally. Your child did not ask for this divorce. Your child will be hurt by this divorce as it is, do not compound the pain by using him or her to hurt your spouse.
Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
Dustin Hoffman .... Ted Kramer Meryl Streep .... Joanna Kramer Jane Alexander .... Margaret Phelps Justin Henry .... Billy Kramer
Ted Kramer is a career man for whom his work comes before his family. His wife Joanna cannot take this anymore, so she decides to leave him. Ted is now faced with the tasks of housekeeping and taking care of himself and their young son Billy. When he has learned to adjust his life to these new responsibilities, Joanna resurfaces and wants Billy back. Ted however refuses to give him up, so they go to court to fight for the custody of their son.
The film shows the agony of people going through a contested Court battle over custody. Although the agony is very real for those going through this,....One's worth as a parent does not depend on how much money one makes! Indeed, it could be argued that the reverse is actually true, in that the less time spent on making a living, the more time and energy one has to devote to the care of one's children. The issue is not who has the best job, but who can best care for the children. Who is the most willing to go the parent-teacher conferences, take the children to the doctor, read to them a story at bedtime, etc.
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