So my Cuz wrote a blog on March 30th and with his permission its here. Not to hit out but the subject from another point of view... not necessarily I agree with them
Does Look Matter ???
To many ppl, when asked "does looks matter to you?" many will say "Nah... it doesn't matter" or " You are being shallow" or "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" or " Dont judge a book by its cover"...yeah yeah words can say many things but if looks dont matter, then basically you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between someone who is hot and someone who is unattractive (im not gonna use the word Ugly as it seems to be very offensive for some people.... believe me.. I have been hit real hard for using it)...But honestly how many of you dare to stand up and say that "Yes.. looks does matter." Well I just did.. and to be honest, yes it does matter. Im not saying that it is the most crucial thing when looking for a partner, but how can one possibly love someone they are not physically attracted to?
"ohh no no.. i really love her.. but i just cant make love to her you see... im just not attracted to her in that way" ...
ohh pleasee.... enough.
Well I recently had sort of a date which turned out real ugly (ugly as in the situation !!!)What happened you ask?? Well one fine day I decided to reinstall MIRC (its been ages since I went chatting on it) and there was this girl who I was chatting with... well she seem a little interesting... ofcourse as honest as I always am... I gave out details bout myself and what not... However, I did not get the same feedback from the other party.
Anyway after several weeks, the excitement builds up that you wanna meet this person to attach a real face to this virtual world. So generally it starts by the description of the person.. I generally did not have to describe myself as she had already checked me out on friendster.. obviously I tried the same but due to the fact that every detail she told me was a lie.... I could not find anything.
Im sure many of you have chatted online and you would have always imagine the person to be all beautiful and you know attractive n all.. (god knows why we give ourselves too much of hope).. Moreover when the person says she is cute and people around her thinks the same and lots of people are trying to go out with her and the whole works as if she is the winner of Miss World. Anyway i realized that I was being lied to bout her name, place of work, where she stays and everything.. god knows why.. like I am gonna stalk her or something... anyway, due to the nature of my work, I manage to find out everything bout her including some pictures taken in her office.
Ok, lets get back to the description; (in her own words) she is tall, medium in colour, slim (based on her BMI which I was told.. LOL), cute, nice eyes, straight hair and all.... and i think to myself "wow... this is even more interesting..."
You see, when I say looks is important, I mean someone who is atleast pleasant looking..I am not asking for gorgeous supermodels..(well you would know based on my collection of ex-gfs).... Im sure you wouldn't wanna wake up next to something that makes you go like "ohh damn..." right??
Back to my story... as weeks go by, I actually sent her a picture of some people working in her office to find out if she is anywhere in the picture. The picture consist of some very unattractive people in it.. and she claims she is not in the picture. We set a date on when to meet (after much delay and excuses that is). As the date came closer, she told me that she actually put on some weight.. (well I was thinking.. some weight wouldn't make you from normal to obese right?) and also told that she might have given me the wrong impression to me bout her...So I was like. "ohh no... is she backing out?? may be she is feeling bad bout lying n all that"
Anyways, the day finally came. I was waiting to see someone that would look like the description given. We had not decided where to go yet... and just as I was waiting for her in the car at the condo, my friend called me up and invited me to party at Bangsar.. so I told him.. will be there as this is over.And the moment arrives...as there was a high curb on the side of the road, I can only see a pair of legs in pink pants next to the car. And to my horror, it was the total opposite of what I have been briefed on. "Ohh dear.. what is this" I thought to myself.... I was speechless. As I tried hard to swallow my saliva, lots of things rushed in my mind.. namely:
1. Is this the right person??
2. What should I do..??
3. Should I run away
4. Should I make an excuse and vanish...
What would one do ??? She was big in size, short, hunched back, very dark and the list goes on in opposite of what she has told me.... and you know what... she is the same person in the picture which she denied!!!...and I think to myself.. "how can someone lie bout themself up to this extend??" I felt soo disgusted, cheated and betrayed. You know all the excitment just died out...
What did I do next? I called for backup ERT ( Emergency Responce Team) to bail me out of the situation. Well at that time, it seem like the best thing to do as I could not think straight....I could not take another minute driving this person who had lied to me about everything and expect me to have dinner with her?? no way..!! anyway I dropped her off ( after the lie and she knew I made up that emergency situation and has the guts to confront me bout it... damn....and went straight to see my friends and obviously bitched about it.....
And the responce I got :
1. Some felt pity that I was lied to..
2. Come laughed and thought it was a real crazy joke
3. Some shouted at me for calling the ERT saying it was cruel to do such things. They said I am shallow and all that.
But to think of it, do you think what I did was really wrong? I mean I was completely honest with everything.. The things is,I was not prepared to see something soo different from the description. Bottom line is, just be god damn honest and none of this would have happened. And I know personality is more important than looks and all.. but you need to also like what you see right???
Well.. i guess people on IRC are not as honest as they use to be 10 years ago... it was soo much more simpler before...hhmm.....
Vadai says,
You hit it on the nail with this closing
".. it was soo much more simpler before...hhmm....."
Life if full of incidents like this we want a chick who turns head but we fail to match those standard. We are all average joes living life one day at a time, looks are nice but look dun decide life or death, personality, character principals are what decides life or death.
At that junction, your frens would not choose you for your look, if they do then better get new friends.
2 comments:
well in my opinion u chat and got to know this person for the sak of getting to know her right? were u expecting something magical to happen? i mean if it was just a normal meeting between two people who want to get to know each other then looks really wouldnt matter.
i've met many people over the nt and not one have i ever expected them to look they way they describe themselves to be because i know people come to the net and hide behind a nick to seperate themselves from the real world they live in.
so what if she says she is she is tall, medium in colour, slim, cute, nice eyes, straight hair and all... maybe thats her way of dealing with her self-esteem.some people say that bcoz they dont like the way they look and they want to be someone else. if only people can see them for who they are not for what they are.
i dont think ur actions towards her was cruel bcoz u were expecting a beauiful woman to walk up to u. ur reaction was normal bcoz u build up some kind of hope that the person u chat with was real and bcoz of that u fail to see her as a person with feelings.. u fail to see her as a human being.
my advise is.. if ur not ready o deal with reality its best to just stay friends in the virtual world..heheh
i've met so many people and not one have i pass judgement on 1st impresion... it takes ime to know the person even if he/she lied to u from the begining... u know what they somehow turn out to be special after all.
im sure u would have figured out why she lied to u. she probably thought that she couldnt have achieved that if she was honest from th begining. would u have dated her if u knew who she was?
well said gorgeous... human being
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