The battles I fight

The turn of the new year I have had to deal with issues ranging form person, to family to friends.

One of the few joys I get heading to Port Klang is my spot, a simple space by the harbor where I can call me own, where I can choose to reflect, analyze, get angry or even cry if I need to. Till today while many know the where about of my spot I choose to keep it to my self. I have had to juggle and come face to face with certain issues that been biting on me for a long time… I said enough is enough and I want to fight back.

1. No 1
I have the greatest respect for my no 1, been schooled in that was the eldest uncle in your family get all the respect and honor as eh represent the forefront of the family. A series of events have taken place during my time away in which though living together No1 and Mrs No 1 are apart. I was shocked and the very children that are supposed to unite them are being idiots. They are elder cousins to me….the boys just keep quiet about it the girl only ferries the mother and leave the dad. WTF!! Things came to a boil over a ‘attaining age ceremony’ of No.1’s grandchild No 1 was not brought. Mo 5 stepped to the plate and said he is not taking part till No1 shows up. Only then the wacky idiot boys brought them. Oh by the way I am the appointed whip of the family.

Went to Cheras then called out No1 sons to table talk with them. With No 2 & 5 present I trash talk with them and told them as sons they have to step up. I hate what they doing to their parents and told them in fixed terms this has got to stop. I know its not easy to them but this is way way ridiculous. I know both No 1 but they compliment each other well and after 30 years of marriage I look up to them. Lets see what happens next trip. Nobody asking miricales but do not keep the man in cold storage and ferry the mother.

2. I have had to contend with Jnr being pulled in many direction from both sides of the family and I was getting pissed…being obliging and bending way over-back, I now find ppl starting to take advantage of that. Damm it I am the father and I made certain of that fact. I gave a dressing down to both sides..turn out to a full blown way…. It was not a matter if I prevailed but I will not allow anyone to drag Jnr vadai into a tug of way by influencing who is better. Part of the deals I made to be where I am doing what I am if he will be brought up properly.. cross that then a price must be made. Thank god after all the yelling and fighting good sense prevailed. For me all that is important is him.

my aunt (mom) asked me today why I am being so disagreeable lately, and I told her that its because I dont want to be nice anymore... being nice to people lead to this situation. I could have been a prick and put my self no 1. Honestly, I am no longer at that point, I just dont like people knowing who I am, and I cant sit them down and explain it because it was experiences in life and the friends, the family, I had at the time who make me who I am. Like a long drama...thankfully I dun have people like that around me to dig into me. Sometimes not opening up is for the better

I choose to close that door. Outside I am still the same good fren but inside I dun want to let people in anymore. I found that when I do let them in I get hurt. Time to move forward. Its not a crime its evolution

To my 3 cousins.. m sorry you were dragged in and I love you. You know me well enough and you know my blog, you know what I have sacrificed to be were I am. Thank you for the huggs.


3. Past few days I been having frank discussion with a few people on where my life is heading and how I want my life to be… with one such person it erupted into a full blown argument today morning. I was pisses when people accuse me of not respecting their privacy and their personal issues. Hello!!! Earth calling!!! Ever Since mid of last year I have backed off slammed the door shut and treated all like a fren, I dun pry what anyone does in their private lives and who they see or choose to go out with. I help out if there is a prob then it end there but to accuse me of that…get a life. You want privacy you got it. Make sure my privacy is guaranteed too.