Living after the time you would have expected to have died.

Living after the time you would have expected to have died.

I am usually a pretty upbeat person, but at the moment there are so many things running through my mind that I am having a hard time concentrating on anything else than listening to music. For some reason I hurt at the moment so I feel the need to write. I believe that I am a very loyal person to a fault, which in turn leads me to be extremely gullible and naive. I want to see the best in a person, any person, which is why I almost always wind up hurt. Friendships have been broken beyond repair, dreams have been destroyed causing me to retreat into my shell.Do I step forward or retreat?

When I love, I love absolutely. Whether it is in a relationship or just a friendship, if you have managed to make it into my heart you will always be there unless you do something to threaten my safety or really hurt me. There have been a few relationships that have scarred my heart beyond the norm which makes it hard for me to open up and trust anyone. I don’t believe in meeting someone in a bar, library or basically any place. When that has happened I usually walk away. One of my friends keeps saying that I am oblivous to the people and situations around me, and she is right. I ignore the unknown and place my trust in the things that I already know. Go ahead, call me a coward for not trying anything new. or am I just playing it safe!!~!

My family is extremely important to me but I have been down a rough road with that as well but I am not afraid to voice out weather I am right or wrong...lol..I would fight the battle and plan the wars but never make the 1st move.... I have fought with me family over principals even drawn swords but that does not mean you dun love them.


With that said, I DO NOT deal well with death. Perhaps it is because I don’t like to lose anything or anyone in my life, perhaps it goes back to whole adoption thing which I have never dealt with. My emotions are stronger than the average person, and I cry at the drop of a hat. Funerals hit me the hardest and it seems like I never get over them.