Creepy!!!
This guy was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark and stormy night.
The storm was so strong, he could barely see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car coming towards him. The guy got in the car, closed the door, and only then realized that there was nobody behind the wheel!
The car starts going again, very slowly. The guy looks at the road and sees a curve coming his way.
Scared, he starts to pray and begs for his life. Just before the car hits the curve, a hand appears through the window and turns the wheel. The guy, paralysed in terror, watched how the hand appeared each time the car approached a curve.
Gathering his strength, he gets out of the car and runs all the way to the nearest town. Wet and in shock, he goes into a pub, asks for two shots of tequila and starts telling everybody about the horrible experience he just went through. A silence enveloped everyone when they realized the guy was crying hysterically and wasn't drunk. About a half hour later, two other guys walk into the same pub and one said to the other, 'Mira, Pedro. That's the idiot that got in the car while we were pushing it!'
Career Guidance
A man flying in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. Reducing altitude, he spotted a man on the ground and descended to shouting range.
"Excuse me," he shouted. "Can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him a half hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below responded: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees North Latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees West Longitude."
"You must be an engineer," responded the balloonist.
"I am," the man replied. "How did you know?"
"Well," said the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."
Whereupon the man on the ground responded, "You must be a manager."
"That I am" replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."
The Sixth Affair
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face.Her praying roused him from his slumber He looked up and his pale lips began to move slightly. "Becky my darling," he whispered. "Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk." He was insistent. "Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must confess." "There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, "everything's all right, go to sleep.""No, no I must die in peace, Becky. I. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!" "I know,my sweet one" whispered Becky, "let the poison work".
The Fifth Affair
A man walks into a night club one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One Cent?", exclaimed the man. So the man glances over at the menu and asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried egg?""Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "but that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the man. "4 cents," the bartender replied. "Four Cents?", exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" The bartender replied, "The same thing as I'm doing to his business."
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