My blog fren - Melinda Tognini Published on: May 15, 2004 –

With her premission

Thanks giving.
This can only be a good thing. In my current situation, where I am about to give birth to a baby whom doctors have diagnosed with a complex heart defect, I have been struggling with this whole area. It would be very easy, and understandable, to feel completely overwhelmed with the negative possibilities, and spend the entire pregnancy feeling depressed, anxious and afraid--and I do regularly have to fight the fear that threatens to overcome me.

But, I also know that how I look at a situation does determine how well I cope. When I was 18, my boyfriend at the time had broken up with me and gone overseas. I was desperately sad for ages, but one day I started to think of all the positives in my life. In the form of a prayer (but you could just as easily do it as a list or a journal entry if God’s not your thing), I began to give thanks for those good things. I was amazed at how my outlook on things altered. I went from being someone who just wanted to get into bed and stay there indefinitely, to someone who felt as if things would work out. That didn’t mean I would necessarily get my boyfriend back (we did get back together temporarily, but it would have been better if we hadn’t!) but life would be okay. At the moment, while I have had some anxious and teary moments, for the most part I have found a lot to be thankful for, and experienced a lot of joy and peace.

Today, here are some of the things I am thankful for:
• The smell of rain and my pink roses
• I have money to put petrol in my car
• I can pay our bills
• I have friends and family who have been an enormous support to us as we come to terms with an unborn child with congenital heart defects
• In the most recent ultrasound (yesterday), there is some improvement, even though the journey is not over yet.
• During that ultrasound, the doctors were trialing a new 3D machine, so we have clear photos of our baby’s face.
• I know God, who offers hope that what the doctors have diagnosed does not have to be the end result (we are accepting the diagnosis but not the prognosis)
• I live in a country where there are no bombs
• My son tells me he loves me, and gives me lots of kisses, hugs and giggles
• I live in a country where I, and my children, can go to school and learn
• My dad has been given the all-clear from the bowel cancer that threatened his life the year before last



Thanks mel