In todays TheStar - ...A bad boy ALL A GIRL WANTS IS...with TRISHA RAJAH

In todays TheStar

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http://www.thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2005/10/15/lifeliving/12288866&sec=lifeliving

L I F E S T Y L E
Living
Saturday October 15, 2005


...A bad boy ALL A GIRL WANTS IS...with TRISHA RAJAH

Before I cause a furore, let me qualify that. When I say Bad Boy, I don’t mean rude boy, obnoxious boy or cad. This bad boy is not the boor who strolls by when you’re struggling with grocery bags at the Bangsar Shopping Complex. Neither is he the oaf who stomps on your RM380 Aldo shoes as he shoves past you to get into the office elevator.

No, the Bad Boy I’m referring to is too charming for that. In fact, as many a broken-hearted girl will attest, he’s just a little too charming. I’m talking about the other kind of Bad Boy. You know the type – the ones who have a streak of James Dean in them.

He’s a bit of a rule breaker, a bit of a rebel (with or without a cause), and if a girl is really lucky, he’s got that brooding, sexy look going as well.

The thing is, us girls are doomed. We say we’re on the lookout for that elusive Good Guy who, for all intents and purposes, seems to be extinct anyway. In reality, we want what’s not so good for us: the guy who makes you think twice before you take him home to meet mum and dad.

I’m convinced that’s why Denzel Washington won the Oscar for Training Day and not The Preacher’s Wife. Every single woman on the Academy (and some of the men) willingly fell for his bad boy turn.

In university, I had a boyfriend who never forgot a birthday, was always on time, agreed with me on most things and was an unfailing gentleman. Then I met a guy who drove fast, loved to party, told the most racy jokes and screeched to a halt outside my gate with Bad to the Bone blaring from the car stereo.

Guess who I ended up with?

We girls find bad boys to be oh-so-good – but for all the wrong reasons. They are so against the rules and let’s face it, everyone wants to break the rules. That’s why we sometimes drive like the speed limit is merely a suggestion. The bad boy dazzles with that devil-may-care glint in his eyes, and we girls are instantly mesmerised.

The lethal lure of the bad boy is that you can have him for a little while but you can never quite keep him, and this only makes us want him more. He’s his own man and he’s not about to change for anyone. His “no promises and no regrets” approach may not be a good thing but we can’t help but be smitten by it.

When the romance ends, which it inevitably does with all these bad boy types, we cry into our copy of He’s Just Not That Into You, rant about our gullibility to our girlfriends and swear that we’ll never date a bad boy again. Until the next irresistible rascal rolls up, that is.

Compare this with the average Good Guy. If a bad boy is a Harley, then a good guy is a Volvo – stable, trustworthy and great for the whole family.

You won’t have to wonder where the good guy is and who he’s with, because he’d let you know in advance. His handphone is always switched on because he wouldn’t want you to worry. It all sounds nice and predictable but who wants predictable, right?

Does this mean that good guys are never going to get the girl?

Before all those nice boys out there start jumping on bikes and turning off their phones, let me say this. The reason girls seek out a good guy is because we know instinctively that good guys make good friends/boyfriends/husbands and, if the day ever comes, good fathers.

After a mountain of discarded tissues drenched in tears, we do eventually realise that bad boys can be bad news.

I married my “bad” boy only after I discovered that he was actually a lamb in wolf’s clothing. He’s just as contented to stay home and watch HBO as go out and party the night away.

The truth is, there’s a little good and bad in all of us. It’s all about balancing it just right. It’s about being nice, not boring; exhilarating, not deadly. Bad boys are great for a lark but deep down we know that we’ll never stay happy with the James Deans of the world (no matter how much we wish we could!).

So, there is hope for the good guys, after all. Nice guys may finish last sometimes, but in the end the best man always wins. W