Friday, September 30, 2005

The old man ---In The Air Tonight

My personal trails have also taught me the value of unmerited suffering. As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course. Recognizing the necessity for suffering I have tried to make of it virtue. If only to save myself from bitterness, I have attempted to see my personal ordeals as an opportunity to transform myself and heal the people involved in the tragic situation, which now obtains. I have lived these last few years with the conviction that unearned suffering is redemptive.
-Martin Luther King, Jr., “Suffering and Faith” (excerpt), "Christian Century Magazine", April 27, 1960

Wish I could have met him….

Everyone has a story they could share. Mine is probably not much different from many bearing their souls in blogs... Sheng Fu wrote (I paraphrase), “Why are there misfortunes in the world? Misfortunes are usually the just reward for our sins, but this is certainly not true in my own case!” I could not agree more.

My father did not love me. I am not shy to admit that. He was quite frank about his disaffection. For this I was grateful; a father’s love can be onerous. I might have had the horror of attending him in his last illness, arguing about going into his business, being forced to provide him with heirs. hahaha

As a child, I had always assumed that my father did not love me, not only because his actions seemed unloving, but also because he had never told me that he did. The truths are often the words that are left unspoken. My father did not know how to love me the way I desired. His own parents had not passed on this knowledge to him. Had he known how to do things differently, I assumed he surely would have.

My search for my father's love ended with the knowledge that he has always loved me but never would he show it, as I grew up I could count with fingers the moments he touched me. In the same way, even through my anger, I have always loved him. Over time the anger was unmasked, the truth could be revealed.

It suddenly seemed very important that I not let my life slip away without communicating the love I held for my father. I had made the decision to never live with the regret of unspoken words when I was finally able to say to my father, "I love you." Even when I did there was not emotion, I was looking into a face that bear no emotions, he just walked away. I crumbled, I picked up the pieces and moved on, nothing I did or could do would be good enough, I was often judged and prosecuted. I started to build walls around ...... no one was allowed in my imaginary world..there were nights I would sink in bed soaking the pillow

I knew that I did not have to know how to forgive. I just needed the desire to do so. Forgiveness takes time. There are definite stages to the process. I had already moved through those early stages of anger and was anxious to move quickly into the final stages of acceptance and forgiveness. By now, I was aware that my father's uncontrolled behavior when he had been drinking was an act of love that I had co-created to learn my life's lessons. Because I had this knowledge, I felt that I needed to deny its impact upon my life and the pain that it caused me.

Now the old man is dying………..and I have to be there...i have to

...there is a difference between being convinced and being stubborn. I’m not certain what the difference is, but I do know that if you butt your head against a stone wall long enough, at some point you realize the wall is stone and that your head is flesh and blood…..

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord
I've been waiting for this moment, all my life, Oh Lord
Can you feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord, Oh Lord ................

I know that I'm a prisoner
To all my Father held so dear
I know that I'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish I could have told him in the living years ...............

Thursday, September 29, 2005

GOA - yang tak tahu mana tu

Goa (गोवा in Devanāgarī) is India's smallest state in terms of area and the fourth smallest in terms of population after Sikkim, Mizoram and Arunachal Pradesh. It is located on the west coast of India, in the region known as the Konkan, and is bounded by the state of Maharashtra to the north, and Karnataka to the east and south. The Arabian Sea makes up the state's west coast. Panaji is the state's capital, and Vasco-da-Gama (Vasco) its largest town. Portuguese merchants first landed in Goa in the 16th century but soon after colonised it. The Portuguese colony existed for about 450 years, until it was annexed as part of India in 1961.

Internationally renowned for its beaches, Goa is visited by hundreds of thousands of foreign and domestic tourists each year. Besides beaches, Goa is also known for its world heritage architecture including the Bom Jesus Basilica. Goa also has rich flora and fauna, owing to its location on the Western Ghats range, which are classified as a biodiversity hotspot.


Me going there hahahaha

The Paradox Of Our Times by by George Carlin

Everyone should ready this its a profound piece that I have been searching for a long time finally found it.

George Carlin is a stand-up comedian and sometime actor who is most famous for his early 1970s routine known as "The Seven Dirty Words You Can Never Say on Radio and TV."

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time;
we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Feel free to commment

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Putrajaya vs Bureaucracy & Idiots

Today for the 1st time, I visits the nation's capital today damm its a lovely place..... its beautiful..... so big so spacious all centralized hmmmmm but all that beauty could not mask the idiots working there... the front office is super welcoming everyone with a smile...peel that layer off...taaadaaaaa!!!

I have a bone to pick with Bureaucracy and idiots..."Bureaucracy is an organizational structure characterized by regularized procedure, division of responsibility, hierarchy and impersonal relationships... In modern usage, bureaucracy often equates with inefficiency, laziness, and waste." That’s the extracted scientific explanation.

"Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned."

Today, bureaucracy has become synonymous with unacceptable delay to most of our minds. To us, if the election happened on Tuesday we want our results on Tuesday. We also take this and apply it to all forms of bureaucracy in the government and want everything to be taken care of immediately without all of the paperwork or "red tape." I can definitely sympathize with one of our most common snafus with bureaucracy: the department of motor vehicles. No matter the time of day or day of the month, there always seems to be a delay. After waiting in line for hours, the long list of procedures to do even simple things becomes even more tedious for someone already fed up by the wait.

Of course, most laws and procedures have loopholes and emergency procedures when quick action is needed. There are several other examples of "cutting through the red-tape," but many procedures are set up to either create an efficient means of completing all the work or just a way to finish the enormous workload. Though everyone wants to cut straight to the top, there are people and positions set up to attempt to slide everything along on greased skids.

I hold strong (and oddly enough, generally fence-sitting) positions on politics and economics, and enjoy debating them...I hate discrimination, even if it's "positive", such as affirmative action. It's one of the few things left in the world that arouse any passion in me at all. I've become extremely cynical in recent years and ever more recently ( growing old la), but I think discrimination is one of the very few things left in the world that I feel strongly about. I can't stand it when people discriminate against other people for reasons out of their control. Surprisingly, I subscribe to most fundamentalist beliefs that can be verified and proven; However, I'm not the kind of person who will picket at rallies;

I went to war with the Ministry of Finance…talk about red tape in meeting a processing officer….I got to fill out forms why I want to meet him and etc etc maybe coz they thinks to avoid corruption and put steps in place to rectify that…..GRRRRRR…went to war and presented my case after 2 hours of end to end rambling presenting the chronology no less then 3 !~! $#%$#%# times they finally gave an inch. To finally hear them giving an inch was a bloody miracle. I won!!! Whew

Took a walk around the nation’s capital and snap some pics…it is cool and spacious and tons of tourist….the PM building it self is majestic and breathtaking huuu haaaa

The lake was lovely too…then back to the dog work!!!!! the smogy traffic infested snarling KL!!!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

That was only Monday!!!

What a week this is going to be and its only Monday has passed submission, work, targets and deadlines boy oh boy this is gonna take a juggling work.

While shuttling around my faithful car fan decides not to work …so a trip to my favorite wireman uncle.. Watching him go to work meticulously breaking down the problem and checking and testing are unlike more of the younger or should I be politically correct and say the less older. Since when stereotyping became such a sensitive thingy.

Back to the blog

Tuesday working like dog ( gonna be a late nighter)
Wednesday gonna work like dog again I think
Thursday working like dog while traveling
Friday wrapping up and heading back to hometown…small one got a concert
Saturday recording the journey of a small one
Sunday recovering from the week

Hahaha Is this what they call a dog’s life?

PS. the old man taken a turn for the worse...

Something to extract

A Dying Man's Wish
An old man lay dying in a nursing home just out of town. His family used to come and visit when he first came here but they had not been to visit in a long time. At least three years. He had been "dying" for years according to his doctors. He had always laughed at them and told them that he would probably outlive them. He was a feisty old man. At least that's what they said when they were being kind. Several other choice phrases came out from time to time. According to all accounts he was a mean old man. He had divorced his wife at age 50 so he could marry a younger woman. Thirty years younger to be exact. Neither of his wives came to visit him. He had lost the love of his son when he cut off all communication with him after he found out that he, his only son, was gay. His two daughters had gotten married right out of college and only called him on his birthday. He had no friends that any one could tell. He was a mean old man. One night, the old man had a dream. The meaning was obvious. The end of his life was very near and he was afraid. He called his ex-wife and begged her to come and stay with him. She laughed into the phone and asked him where he had been when she needed him. He called his "new" wife. The answering machine picked up and he was prepared to leave a heart breaking message when he heard that she and "Bill" were "busy" and would call back when they got out of bed. He hung up before the beep because his name was not Bill. He called his son. The reply was that he would try but he and his new friend, Jerry, were going mountain climbing in Tibet. Both of his daughters were too busy with car pools and PTA meetings. They said they could not leave their lives so abruptly. He sat back and decided to try his friends. He spent an hour trying to remember a single name and couldn't think of one. After a bit, a nurse came in to do her routine check on his failing body systems. He looked at her and said, "What have I done to deserve this? Why would my family abandon me at a time like this?" She looked at him rather sharply and said, "Well, I would not come and hold the hand of any dying man who treated me as badly as you have treated everyone in your life. Have you ever done anything for anyone besides yourself?" "No...but I can change," he whimpered. "Sir, you haven't enough time left to change." The old man died several hours later.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

My Sunday with My Small one

What is in faith that people throng and fall over to perform…belief???…a way of life???… a guide in discipline? fear? .... why.... Today the concept of religion has become so fragile the very manner to question faith or religion or to the way of life which ever way we wanna question it has become hostile… I do not have the answered to his and to me is seem to be like a chicken and egg concept. As harsh as I wanna be, figure this out....Have you have been on a wide road like highways without lines painted especially when the road is resurfaced a general 3 lane road becomes 5 or 4 lanes coz each dictates and interprets where the line should be …. Religion is like that its like guidelines on life and the way to live it…is it the right way….or is it the only way.....hmmmmm

The small one undertook this same journey when it became time to instill him with religion as a guide and a form of discipline…he carried the milk pot walking with the crowd no inkling or knowledge for what purpose he is doing it and I would bet with you neither would 90% of the adults walking the same line. Was I pious? Hell yeah…. I slogged and worked my ass off for religion but its lost shape and focus when you start to grow up because you learn about life and science and when you lean back in faith you find there are too many hole in religion ....anyway this part of the blog is for another session..
Well the kiddo had super fun.. I was like documenting his journey he was full of energy and so enthusiasm...kind of reminded how i was in his age Nevertheless today was about the kid… and in many ways then one I was proud of him… he had question which I did not have answers.. let see how this flows

[Ellie challenges Palmer to prove the existence of God] Palmer Joss: Did you love your father? Ellie Arroway: What? Palmer Joss: Your dad. Did you love him? Ellie Arroway: Yes, very much. Palmer Joss: Prove it.

Bowen: Dreams die hard and you hold them in your hand long after they have turned to dust.
Verbal: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

the old sweet smell..... the huggs and the pat on the back....bow and good fren, his wife...and their darling daughter

Wow its always good to smell the roses every time you walk in the park coz you can never replace same as going back to the place I left it was nice to small to see the place...

It was also great to see the familiar places …smell ..ever the jetty where I used to hang about kind of like my home away from my home…but my home was the “end of the world” a place where I share many of my moments with… a spot where I could sink in… I guess I grew up and grew out of the place… kind of like the swing u used to play as a kid and walking it past it… everything changes and everything is the same at the same time.

After the customary visits to ‘family’ ppl I snuck to the lodge the Umpires were down for the Razak Cup was staying… what a welcome I received from actual friends… although I took ‘leave’ from it bout 6 months ago…there were warmth hugs…firm handshakes and I do miss them.. we talked bout the good old time and the fun … was good to laugh with them

Sat headed to watched the matches ….more familiar faces and pats on the back…many expressing admiration and respect for a stand I took….made me beam with pride…
took the small one with me for some bow and arrow session which I think he handle quite well…and did not shoot anyone

then headed back to the lodge…with the small one and so here was I with 10-12 other brothers and small one having fun laughing making jokes… and of cause playing cards....aaaaaa nice

Evening was the reason I went in the 1st place. Natasha 1at Birthday.. what a darling gorgeous girl she is…Iggy is a buddy a tight buddy of mine who know me inside and outside he know mw smile, my tears and me pain as I know his…someone who I could pour myself to…. I was touched and honored when he approach me to be the MC and organizer of his wedding dinner…wow what an event and in his thanks you speech he and his darling wife raised me up by expressing their gratitude in their speech an event so fresh in my memory and now its their daughter’s 1st Birthday and I am so proud to be the and be apart of it... they will always be a dear to me


Met my old frens..not many know the reason why I left but happy to see me but it was a night worth to be there…but the show must go on

Friday, September 23, 2005

A turning point… & Going back

A while ago I took a walk leaving all that I wanted behind, to build something and even till today I still believe in. I am building despite all the hiccups and setbacks, joys and tribulations I still believe in what I did, what I am doing and I am still walking the path I have chosen....

I lost and I gained…. Is it worth is? damm right it is… never for a second have I look backed…walk in my shoes and you will see who I am… I am guarded but hey that me….but I do laugh and I did laugh and I am laughing...those who see me can see when I am really laughing…there are no mask then...

Circumstance is powerful, but it cannot work alone; it has to have a partner. Its partner is man's TEMPERAMENT--his natural disposition. His temperament is not his invention, it is BORN in him, and he has no authority over it, neither is he responsible for its acts. He cannot change it, nothing can change it, nothing can modify it--except temporarily. But it won't stay modified. It is permanent. By temperament I was the kind of person that DOES things. Does them, and reflects afterward well sometimes hehe. I have been punished many and many a time, and bitterly, for doing things and reflecting afterward, but these tortures have been of no value to me; I still do the things commanded by Circumstance and Temperament, and reflect afterward. Always violently. Well well who said like was not an interesting learning curve….

The next few weekends will result me going back for fulfill obligation and visit frens I had left behind when I started to walk old frens …cousins… Firstly Iggy & Pat .. I reflect back that I did their wedding dinner and here we are celebrating their daughter 1st birthday. They are a darling and will always have a place in my heart. Happy Birthday Gorgeous!!!

Razak Cup takes place in Klang all my old frens will be there… I walked away from hockey coz of certain reasons be nice to see them… Gonna visit my cousins (yahoo) The old man not to well so got a prayer to go for .

The small one gonna carry milk pot…hmmm this should be interesting maybe I take a pic…. Must be a kodak moment…. that fellow got his concert coming...mental not video camera pls.... oh by the way I took this pic my self hehehe amature photography... maybe one day.....

time to leave and move on..... hahaha work la

The beauty that addresses itself to the eyes is only the spell of the moment; the eye of the body is not always that of the soul.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

rambling of an absent mind

Foreword : dun judge this as something happening to me judge it if you can relate to it

"We all live in a house on fire, no fire department to call; no way out, just the upstairs window to look out of while the fire burns the house down with us trapped, locked in it. "

How true that is, the question would be ....Can you ever get out? or Do you want to get out?

A vacumm a hole sucking you in ...having an invisible grip on seem to be paralyzed trying to get out and yet every thing that seem so clear now seem so try to focus and try to take a step but in which direction.... you listen to the song you can relate put you self out there to swing for the fences....

Why - Annie Lennox
How many times do I have to try to tell you

That I'm sorry for the things I've done
But when I start to try to tell you
That's when you have to tell me
Hey...this kind of trouble's only just begun
I tell myself too many times
Why don't you ever learn to keep your big mouth shut
That's why it hurts so bad to hear the words
That keep on falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Falling from your mouth
Tell me...Why........Why.....

I may be mad, I may be blind, I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard it said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...Why can't you see this boat is sinking
(This boat is sinking this boat is sinking)

Let's go down to the water's edge
And we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...Why
Tell me...Why

This is the book I never read
These are the words I never said
This is the path I'll never tread
These are the dreams I'll dream instead
This is the joy that's seldom spread
These are the tears...The tears we shed
This is the fear.....This is the dread
These are the contents of my head
And these are the years that we have spent
And this is what they represent.......

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" and that a fact!!~!

All about numbers in your life

Oyster sent me a lovely spreadsheet which was kind of cute....all you need was to enter you date of birth and viloa you get all this information....thansk oyster

Age 35
Day you were born Thursday
Days lived 12,978
Months lived 426
Exact age as at 22/09/05 35 years, 6 months, 10 days
Time alive 311481:49:36
Hours lived 311,482
Minutes lived 18688909
Seconds lived 1121334576
Approx hours slept 103,827
Days sleeping 4,326
% of life asleep 33%
Years asleep 11.9
Approx number of heart beats 1,345,601,491
Zodiac Sign Pisces
Chinese Star Sign Dog
Share Birthday with Andrew Young, Darryl Strawberry, Liza Minelli
Years to Retirement 20
Days to Retirement 7110
Approx number of workdays 5,078

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Things that make you go HMMMMM

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?A. Conception.

Q. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common? A. All invented by women.

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil? A. Honey

Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year? A. Father's Day

Q. What trivial fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most ironic? A. He was allergic to carrots.

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party? A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

Did you know...
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear & smell better.

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the South Pacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "The whole 9 yards."

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The nursery rhyme "Ring Around the Rosey" is a rhyme about the plague. Infected people with the plague would get red circular sores ("Ring around the rosey"), these sores would smell very badly so common folks would put flowers on their bodies somewhere (inconspicuously), so that it would cover the smell of the sores("a pocket full of posies"). Furthermore, people who died from the plague would be burned so as to reduce the possible spread of the disease ("ashes, ashes, we all fall down").


Bastards (Now is come to our front yard)

I wrote about Kartina a few days back and I see this on the online local news... looks like we are sucked in...

"Wars have never hurt anybody except the people who die." -Salvador Dali

Bomb threat at American international school in KL
KUALA LUMPUR (AP) - Hundreds of students at an American international school in Malaysia were evacuated and the school was closed Tuesday after it received a "credible'' bomb threat, officials said.
A school official said the threat came in a telephone call to the International School of Kuala Lumpur, which has about 1,200 students from about 50 countries.
The official, who demanded anonymity, said police searched the campus, in the Ampang neighbourhood of Kuala Lumpur.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

SICK!!!!!!! & Rasam

Boy oh Boy last week has sure taken its toll on my.... my throat gone and I went to the doc and the bugger say I got to take MC dammmmm!!!! tons of work and a full schedule this week.... I wonder if James Brown ever had a throat infection form all the singing without the mic!!

What you think Makcik & Marie?

So I am grounded and I dun know if I can complete my task this week agghhh

So I learn instantly how to make RASAM

You know rasam?? Hehe (damm the pic dun want to up load lo)


Now which one of you indian food lovers dun know this an absolute delicacy....
Rasam normally forms the second course in a traditional South Indian menu. There are various ways of preparing it. It is normally mixed with plain cooked rice and eaten with different curries for sidedish. It makes for a very good appetizer or soup also when taken all by itself.

This wonderful dish is also a good remedy for cold and sore throat... I usually like drinking rasam on cold days (or when I'm having a cold).

Ordinary Rasam

Ingredients : Rasam powder, tamarind paste/tamarind extract, water, salt, curry leaves, coriander/cilantro leaves, asaefoetida, ghee, tomato(optional), toor dal(1 tblspn). Pressure cook the toor dhal in water. In a hard bottomed vessel, pour a cup or two of water. Add salt and rasam powder to it. If tomato is used, dice into small pieces and let it cook for a few minutes in this water. After this comes to a boil, add tamarind extract/paste and boil for 5 more minutes. Add the cooked toor daal(mashed well) to the boiling mixture. Boil further for 5 minutes. When the rasam starts emitting a very good aroma, turn the stove off. Garnish with curry and coriander leaves. Add a sprinkle of asaefoetida powder. Saute mustard seeds in ghee and add to this.


1 cup thuvar dal
2 tsps sambhar powder
1/2 tsp turmeric powder
1 tsp mustard seeds
1 big tomato
1/2 cup tamarind pulp
a pinch of asafoetida
1 Tbsp chopped coriander leaves
a few curry leaves
salt to taste

Soak the dhal for an hour and pressure cook it till soft. Mash well. Boil thin tamarind pulp. Add chopped tomatoes, sambhar powder, turmeric powder asafoetida and boil till the raw smell disappears, Add cooked dhal and salt to taste. Boil for 10 minutes. Add 2 cups of cold water. Simmer for 5 to 7 minutes Heat one tbsp ghee. Fry the mustard seeds and curry leaves. Pour over the prepared rasam. Add chopped coriander leaves. Serve hot with rice

Monday, September 19, 2005

Talent vs Poluparity

Like hundreds of thousands of other Malaysian, from grandfathers to teens, I've taken a recent interest in the Maaysian Idol contest. Along with that are shows like Akademi Fantasia and Mentor for it will have its own following... I am not hooked tot he show unlike some who must stay glues with chips and cock by their sides....

For me Malaysian Idol , and like many citizens, I would like to see a winner who has the talent that makes Malaysia proud. Last night 2 contestants made it ot the finals....It may be hard to swallow, but either of the two contestants will probably to known to more for their popularity we have to ask our selves when it comes to Talent versus Popularity, which quality did each one of us prefer.

I have said much about the manner of voting all thoguhtout the Malaysian Idol. If you understand the concept of idol then u you must understand how good these people have to be in reaching the final..Erratic performance, pitching issue...The question is would you buy a record from them.....

Don't get me wrong, the talented performers that were on Malaysian idol Idol were losing out on a popularity contest. Well this problem is not confined to just Malaysian idol even in American Idol there were bad singers scraping thru.If anything, whoever does win the 2nd installment of Malaysian Idol will probably looked upon as if they have a huge asterisk stamped on their foreheads.
Or will they? Don't be so sure.

Like American Idol this local franchise is part talent show, part popularity contest and even part reality programming. In some ways it's more 'real' than many of its other brethren of the genre. If anything, in my opinion the Malaysian Idol is an honest look at ourselves and how unfair life is. That's real.

If you really believe that the finalist are there on talent then your sadly mistake, they are there on popularity. That's a fact!!! I'm not actually miffed at why so many people are bent out of shape at the Malaysian Idol voting results coz its people who have zero idea what talent is or what it takes to sing well and well its not one vote but you can vote a eternity... I know frens who are voting 20-30 times who sit on the edge of their seats when results are announced.

In reality to vote, You don't have to have a music education, you don't need to know how to read or write in any language. You don't even need to have the ability to hear technically; could be absolutely deaf. All you need is a phone or text messaging capability. Its A train wreck waiting to happen. that's an inevitable miscarriage of justice.

Imagine the winner going on to sing in a life concert with pitching problems or with a bad vocabulary of English or even an inconsistent performance.... In reality , I feel that the Malaysian Idol is a popularity contest more than it is a talent competition. Malaysian Idol is also much more a variety show than it is a legitimate talent competition. Malaysian Idol is a popularity contest, masquerading as a talent competition.
It is what it is, and when we make it out to be something it's not, that's when we get upset and get our feelings hurt. It walks like a duck, quacks and smells good when cooked and served with mashed potatoes.

Let's remember what the show is called. It's called 'Malaysian Idol.' Let's remember that the voting majority and their respective ideas of what is and should be 'idolized' is probably different other look at.

I still watch it, learn form it and lets see who wins next week. It is indeed intruguing to be a human

Friday, September 16, 2005


Have you ever gone and celebrated something without knowing the meaning....Vadai dun want like that one...want you to know and say thing that make u go hmmmmmm


In ancient times, people regarded the full moon as a symbol of reunion. The common folk and emperors worshipped and enjoyed viewing the moon especially during the Soong, Ming and Qing dynasties. It was customary to set up a table laden with mooncakes, pomegranates and dates in open air. After prostrating themselves before the moon, the people would sit with their families to enjoy viewing the celestial splendour.
Nobody actually knows when the custom of eating moon cakes to celebrate the Moon Festival began, and there are many legends surrounding this celebration.

At one time, China was in revolt against the Mongols. It is said that a certain Chu Yuen-chang, and his senior deputy, Liu Po-wen, discussed battle plans and developed a secret moon cake strategy to take a certain walled city held by the Mongol enemy. Liu dressed up as a Taoist priest and entered the besieged city bearing moon cakes which he handed out to the people. When the Moon Festival arrived, people opened their cakes and found hidden messages with plans to coordinate their uprising with the troops outside. This was how the emperor-to-be ingeniously took the city and his throne. Moon cakes became famous.

Another legend tells how invading Mongols had destroyed the Song Dynasty and treated the people like slaves. In a daring attempt to overthrow the Mongolian rule, rebel leaders sent hidden messages to each household baked in mooncakes. The mooncakes were part of the harvest festival and so the Mongolians would never partake of these pastries. The message instructed everyone to strike and kill the Mongolians during the Mid-Autumn Festival. The attack was successful and the Ming Dynasty was established.

And there are those who believe there is a beautiful woman on the moon. The lovely Chang-O, who lived during the Hsia dynasty (2205-1766 BCE) was married to the great General Hou-Yi of the Imperial Guard. This General Hou was a skilled archer. One day, at the behest of the emperor, he shot down eight of nine suns that had mysteriously appeared in the heaven. His marksmanship was richly rewarded by the emperor and he became very famous. However, the people feared that these suns would appear again to torture them and dry up the planet, so they prayed to the Goddess of Heaven, Wang Mu, to make General Hou immortal so that he could always defend the emperor, his progeny and the country. Their wish was granted and General Hou was given a Pill of Immortality.

Chang-O grabbed the pill and fled to the moon. (Sometimes it's uncertain whether she ever actually got there, because Chinese operas always portray her as still flying toward the moon). When Chang-O reached the moon, she found a tree and a friendly hare sitting under it. Chang-O decided to pound the pill into small pieces and scatter them on Earth so that everyone could be immortal. She ordered the hare to pound the pill,then built a palace for herself. She remains on the moon to this day. The helpful hare is found in Chinese mythology as the Jade Hare.

You will see today, stamped on every mooncake, every mooncake box, and every Moon Cake Festival poster, the beautiful Chang-O.



Katrina reveals our flaws and strengths

When events like this does not effect us at the platform in which this tragedy affects them all to familiar.... With all the comfort and day to day running of our lives we tend to take it for granted our place on this small planet, and our general well-being have bought us forgetfulness. We gaze on images of suffering from natural disasters that strike poorer and rich countries and can't quite picture this nation succumbing to the same dark impulses. We are lucky to be living in this part of earth....

Looting, whether fueled by need or greed. Violent strikes at rescuers who pass by en route to saving another, seemingly more desperate neighbor or stranger. Mob scenes at buses that arrive to evacuate hurricane survivors from one shelter to another. These are horrors that occur in some other place, right? Except in our own yard and we just watch it without figuring it out that directly and indirectly if DOES affect us. Not long ago we had the snatch cases it peaked and died out. So as long it does not affect us its ok right???
Think again.

Looking at Hurricane Katrina for me it has proven those pretentions wrong.
Thieves have taken not food or medical supplies but appliances and other non-critical merchandise from store shelves. Federal emergency teams have called off operations in some spots after the outbreak of gunfire, potshots being taken at helicopters heading to rescue patients at hospitals. Media covering the hurricane aftermath are warned against eating or drinking in public, which could anger the needy in the area, and against remaining in disaster zones after nightfall.

Those darker impulses exist in all of us. but admist all the "terror" so do the heroic ones. I salute and admire the heroic ones they without rhyme and reason step up to the plate to deliver

Bless them


I love this show they used to show it late night till it disappeared and I was pleasantly surprised to see it on Saturday lunch time. I admired this show coz... this engrossing series aint your typical average family drama.

I have admired the way it is unafraid to tackle any subject, from teens with sexually transmitted diseases, medical marijuana, depression, cancer and abortion. Set in a small town in the Rocky Mountains, the series' emotional center is the surreal and often heartbreaking relationship between a father and son. I find the topics intriguing and challenging and it address the current issues that we so conveniently turn the other cheek.

Today spoke of a relationship between Dr.Andrew and a female doc Dr. Linda Abbott (Maria Cross from Desperate House wives who has HIV. Meanwhile, Linda reveals her HIV status to Delia after the girl confronts her about all the pills she's been taking. While Delia takes the news better than expected, the rest of the town goes ballistic after Linda's secret unintentionally becomes public knowledge. Dr. Abbott faces a potential malpractice suit, and Andy is forced to come clean with Ephram, who doesn't take the news very well.

Brief Extract
Dr. Andrew Brown's (Treat Williams, Hollywood Ending, The Late Shift) own life changed forever the day his wife, Julia, died tragically in a car accident. Up until then, Andy was a world-renown neurosurgeon whose career always overshadowed his family obligations. Faced with the daunting task of raising his two kids, Ephram (Gregory Smith, Nearing Grace) and Delia (Vivien Cardone, A Beautiful Mind) by himself, Andy traded in the New York skyline for the vistas of the Rockies and settled in Everwood, Colorado, a charming and picturesque little town tucked in among majestic snowy peaks.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

What a week

wow its thursday already woh!!!

I have not had time to do my blog running like the dog that I am with meeting , lunch & learn and appointments. This is a very taxing week and trying week as well and some people just get on your nerves.

I hate when people prejudge you and classify you. HATE it!!! I was in that shoes #$%^%^&*(

Yesterday was a tough call down south in Melaka and it really tested my patience and I need to step out. I did with 2 of the team guys then alone. It was good, it made me reflect hmmmmmm met Sam later....was good to see him

Well I am off to work now cant the weekend come any faster please pretty please,,,,,,

Mental note
must oyster for my moon cake!!!! red bean please

Saturday, September 10, 2005

A Chapter Closed - Moving forward in life

This was in many ways a good week I closed many chapter in my life and there are many more...I have managed to close a few chapters in my life and time to move forward.... Work is chugging along and next week is an important week for us. We have visitors coming down and I got to pull my socks up. We got important meeting and presentation with head of large organizations in the Oil and Gas Sector hope I dun get butter flies in my tummy hehehe

I have had to look at life, death and work this week and start preparing for all 3 in many ways. Sometimes I feel like I am in a rut but a sms a call from my frens puts a smile on my face sometimes a mask...then again that’s life. We cant live forever but we can life for now..... I want to start living for now.... Life has many interesting and funny turns and when you least expect it the carpet get yanked under you or you get slammed in the face by a shovel. I have had that a few times and just got another one in my face. But I want to live……

Millions long for immortality who don't know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz

"When I find myself fading, I close my eyes and realize my friends are my energy."

Friendships may not last. It can lose importance and die gradually. Some friendships end abruptly with unresolved conflict. The worst enemy of friendships is change by one or both friends and usually pain with the loss of friendship. Hmmmm coming to ponder more about it friendships do end with pain and change. Carole King's song, "You've Got A Friend" promises "Winter, spring, summer, or fall--all you've got to do is call--and I'll be there." Many people expect that their friends will always be there. They expect friendship to last forever...but they take friendship for granted. We sometimes have different levels of expectations in friendship and that creates a torn in us eating us from within. Yet, friendships end and friends part company everyday. Unfortunately, even the best maintained friendships can end.

Many end because of a change in personality or lifestyle when friends just drift apart and fade away with time. There is a retreat from self-disclosure and seeking out each other's company. Avoidance begins. The friendship slowly loses importance and finally disappears.

I have geared my self for this weekend as a dear fren of mine if coming from Brunei she is a lovely barrel of laughs and look forward to talking to her. I also miss chatting with ppl like XXX, Karplunk, Mrs. Karplunk,Oyster. This should be a good week to get charged up. I needed this weekend

"But Oh! The blessing it is to have a friend to whom one can speak fearless on any subject; with whom one's deepest as well as one's most foolish thoughts come out simply and safely. Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." -Dinah Maria Mulock Craik, A Life for a Life, 1866

Cobra 10's wow weeee I really hope I can go there......Let see how I juggle my Sat let see got Cleo got Giant got dim sum (burp!!!)

I posted this coz I love the article which appeared in the Sunday Star... children at the purest and innocence and not for getting mischief.... can you remember when you last felt love? (I love working with kids XXie I envy you)
Love is ...
A GROUP of professionals posed this question to a group of four- to eight-year-olds: “What does love mean?” Here are some of their answers:
“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toe nails any more. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too.” – Rebecca, age eight
“When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.” – Billy, four
“Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.” – Karl, five
“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” – Chrissy, six
“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” – Danny, seven
“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” – Terri, four
“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.” – Noelle, seven
“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” – Cindy, eight
“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” – Elaine, five
“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you’ve left him alone all day.” – Mary Ann, four
“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” – Lauren, four
“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” – Clare, six
“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” – Jessica, eight
And finally, love in action, by Junior.
A four-year-old boy lived next door to an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, he went into his yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When the boy’s mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, he replied, “Nothing, I just helped him cry.”

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

The prefection of cooking & Vinayagar Chaturti

The perfection of cooking

I was never one to be satisfied with my cooking ( well I still believe I can cook and hello people still survive it ok)well here I am on Monday night back late after work just about to make noise in the kitchen after preparing everything (that too after my dinner appointment cancel) suddenly receive a msg that a sis of mine had scalded her self and we were the closest.... of we go jumping into my jalopy and rushing through traffic... heading all the way across to the other end of town with the urgency to there on time...not knowing what happened only that she was in pain and crying... finally reached there in record time only to fine the young girls bark was more then the bite...took her to the clinic got her attended to .. since we were there hungry had dinner and headed back sinking into bed... an eventful night.. so much for cooking packed everything into bed. Next day manage to leave work early came back and cooked and what a dish it turned out to be...I bragged to Marie and feasted on it like no tomorrow....burp!!!!!

I was lovely if I should say so my self.....


Vinayagar Chaturthi is grandly celebrated in Malaysia. All Vinayagar temples celebrate this festival. Other temples also often celebrate it, especially if there is no Vinayagar temple in that area. Vinayagar Chaturthi falls on the 4th day of the new moon in the month of Aavani (August-September).

The birthday of Lord Ganesh, the son of Shiva and Parvati, is celebrated with great vigor in the month of Aavani (August-September). His birth was in sukla paksha chaturthi on a soma vasara (Monday) with Visaka star and simha lagna. It is this day each year we celebrate as Vinayaka Chaturthi.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Sunday Ramblings

Appreciating the Fear of Friendship

True friendship is a gracious virtue and a common rarity. It is a blessing that one both questions and appreciates. When foreign blood can touch our emotions so deeply that we can call that blood our own, and accept it without hesitation, then that is the day when our world will become unified. I think to to find true friendship then one must be willing to remove his anchors from their safe harbors, and allow themselves to be swept away by the sheer magnitude of their own faith. To question all that surrounds you and to judge yourself.

Y yourself coz you put yourself in that position to begin with, no point in judging others when you are flawed within?

There those among us that walk on this earth who would actually do that and I am honored to know them...but the rest I cant help feeling pity for them.

I read this with great interest

Angels With Broken Wings - Alice Shiels 10 July 2002 Angels with broken wings are still angels. They rest their tattered bodies on olive branches and fig leaves, staring at the sun. Until one day, the sun becomes hidden by the clouds... Then, while all the people within the realm of the reality that we know find solace in the warmth of their homes, protected from the cold, the angel remains outside whipped and beaten by the storm. Everyone feels sorry for her until the rain stops, and they realize her beautiful wet wings glisten even more in the sunlight after they have survived the abuses of nature... Their empathy turns to jealousy, and the wrath of their fiery eyes is too much for our poor wet angel to withstand... Too bad she's beautiful...

I am intrigued

Hurricane Katrina my frens blogs I came across this article....we just celebrated Merdeka and in my blog I questioned the value of freedom and what it had in another corner of the a place called New Orleans devastated by Hurricane Katrina.. chaos had reigned in the lawlessness that followed… we live in a country never to a magnitude of devastation such as this, but if you were in this situation living and facing what they are…what would you do…...

I cyber fren wrote this blog

A week ago today....
...I filled my tank (at $2.38 a gallon) in New Orleans, thinking we "might" have to get out of town ahead of this hurricane. I made mental plans for doing a little business while on the road for a few days.
...I knew it was too late to go get any plywood to board up the house. Lines were already long at Home Depot across the river and, besides, I didn't have enough spare money to buy all that wood anyway.
...I talked to neighbors, trying to get a sense of where they'd be. I told them I planned to fire up the BBQ trailer on Labor Day and we'd have a block party.
...I was planning to drive up to Baton Rouge for a food show that night.
...I was thankful for getting a decent order from Lakeview Fine Foods on Harrison.
...I stopped and bought a new bottle of New Orleans Amber rum.
...Gas prices are over $3 a gallon, IF I can find it. The business I've conducted since has been keeping us going all week, but inventory is about gone. I have no idea when I'll be able to resume.
...I wonder what shape the Home Depot is in.
...My neighbors are scattered like talcum powder all over the map. I've been fortunate enough to find only one of them. My BBQ trailer, if it hasn't been stolen by looters, sits rusting in skanky water at my office.
...The food show place in Baton Rouge is now an emergency shelter.
...Lakeview Fine Foods is slowly draining after being immersed to its roof.
...The bottle of rum is long gone. I don't know when any more of this wonderful (and decently priced) elixir will be produced.
That said -- thanks to friends and family, we're doing okay. It's just weird to think about WTF has been going on over the past seven days.

. .....and I though I should share it in my thoughts

Have a nice Sunday

my sat.....


Well well the municipal ppl came by to fog the house so they informed they are fogging the place and asked if I wanted to fog the thought it was a good decision then what the heck said ok la... the rest of the gang in the sleepy stupor eventually thought otherwise and we decline so you find them fogging the whole place (must be a denggi outbreak around where I live)

Check into work and worked some paperwork working on my blog hmmmm I am interested to see how this blog proceeds with directions I have no definitive thingy to write so I write what come to mind as a good fren of mine loves to quote “ that’s the way the cookie crumbles”

The Wedding dinner was lovely. supposed to be a bigger group on our side but we cant be every where at once lol... For me it was to be there for a fren and my presence was to signify what that friendship meant to me.

Well it not biggie but its the thought that counts to me...after that headed back and I was watching "one tree hill"..I have gotten hooked to the show would even cancel my Sat nite outing to watch it...why? dun know just hooked... A lovely show in a way related to reality and I am very intrigued by Lucas (Chad Michael Murray, Dawson's Creek, Gilmore Girls), a prominent character.... the full story at

Well it was an intriguing episode that touched on relationship and friendship

The synopsis for the episode I watched
Nathan comes home with a load of bills to pay. Lucas and Peyton decide to raise money by throwing a movie party a Tric. Dan gives Nathan Annulment papers( you find out he signed them when Dan goes to New York and gives them to Haley to sign. Brooke wants to be more than friends with Lucas but she sees a lot of signs that tell her otherwise. Lucas wants to be with Brooke too. Peyton really misses Jake and doesn't know why he is shutting her out. Dan asks Nathan to move in with him, Nathan excepts it end the end. Nathan only wants to move in for Deb. Haley did want to come home but decided not to when she finds out Nathan signed Annulment papers. Nathan ask Lucas to stop investigating Dan but he goes behind his back.

It was worth watching it...I would have loved to watch Boston Public but I was not well the sore throat (mental note no more blow jobs lol) was getting to me...pop some pills and climbs back into bed... are the world goes on with people doing what they do best.......mmmmmm

Good night

Saturday, September 03, 2005

What a Friday!!!

"The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor."
Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus,

There is nt one person who would not or could nt bitch about a week they had and I found my self in that category at the tail end of it...being in a situation where 3 different people want 3 different way to project a single goal. well that management for you and the skill is trying to balance the different ideas. At time it can be pretty unnerving for one but got to fight it thru.

What a Friday, already recovering form Thursday and the lack of sleep, a couple of doses of medication followed by a good sleep did help me survive Friday. Still the after effects linger....pulling long hours at work is starting to take its toll on me.... but its fun and challenging.

By the end of Friday, the task I was working on was completed thanks to a couple people in the office. On the way out, my boss buzzed me and I updated him on the seminar and the roadshow and there I was off....famished, tired, chugging along.. I get a sms asking me bout dinner away from home....that was like a lifesaver..sometime its just the right timing of the things that takes places.

Here I was planning to head home soak in the shower pop some pills sink into bed and complete my Friday night and my lifesaver turns me nite around. Wat a fren!! So there we go to a nice cozy semi western food joint, complete with fountain, big screen and fountain to a pair of singers tucked away...there i was digging into a lovely ribeye and tiger prawn and a bottle of wine to boot....and the best thing its FREEEEEEEEE!!!.

We chisel away minutes chatting, listening the music...been a long time since we chatted and had this kind of opportunity.. we talked and talked...

of ya Shaul ... Happy Anniversary Machaaannnn!!!

Through dinner my good buddy W (who just got his lovely new Sentra) and his pal (wife) K buzzed me and asked me what we doing for dinner or the night plans. After all the borak-borak, they pair plan to pick us up after dinner... finished the wine ( mental note wine taster better when someone else paying for the bill)...

Headed back tried to set up the PC (Pentium 133) with a modem , it detected then upon connection hanged. ggggrrrrrrrrr dun know what to do with it....guess the weekend project get the old junk online....

BTW anyone want to sell their PC me desperately looking for one.

W & K & K & N nice link lol all of us went in a lovely Nissan Sentra headed to secret place...met our old fren Sam who took us in...slid to a spot behind the band and chugged some beer and dancing ( so much for being drained out) the band was not that much to shout about but a lot of bonding ( I need that)... it was fun and its been a long time since I felt this way in a group. Headed back 'very' early morning.

A nice way to end Friday…. on parting words..

Friendship... is not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. Muhammad Ali

Thursday, September 01, 2005

wow what a llllooooonnnnnnngggg

hardly slept last night dun know what finally bout 2 or 3 went out for a walk...mind body and soul restless...came back just in time to shower andf jump into the train to KL. Was in KL by about 7.45 but walking about like like a walking zombie.....who day feel lousy....feverish...tick tock tick tock..... maybe need a good workout......hetic day at work too.

Was supposed to go for a frens sister's wedding today but due to work and lack of organized transport did nt...probably go for the dinnner.

Waiting for the day to end