Transition

baby I have been here before
I know this room, I've walked this floor
I used to live alone before I knew you.
I've seen your flag on the marble arch
Love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah

Its coming to end of Sunday.... if there was ever a roller coaster of emotion I could have gone thru in a weekend that comes to mine this would be the icing of the cake

From the Sat morning wedding to the Sat dinner, stepping up to the plate at 5.30pm at the hall to the bullshit political family, the talk the empty talk and yet people who work to get things together, the one that bend over and bend forward for the sake and very title they choose to defend called family. When the glasses were raised, speeches were made this would be the 2nd dinner in a row I did not drink (I have a reason)

I did not know who made seating arrangement but I moved my junior of a table where an idiot sat. On and on they went, and on and on it went, i kept my head low, building seething in me it came to a point where I almost wanted to stand up last at the idiot and walk away, unfortunately it was an uncle. I looked to my aunt and shook my head. All the rage I had against this person what he had done to my family and yet everything seemed normal. Focused on the task we had. Getting a dinner completed perfectly


On the journey back, I told mami how close i came to humiliating the bothers of hers but it was my patience that held my tongue and not made a scene that made me realise I did not have to lower my self to that level. but for a long time that night not the briefest of moments, it felt good to go down to his level and launch a traide a barrage of cheap 3rate explicits to show the world what an idiot he really is.

(oh yes I have baggage I been carrying for years of being nice being suppressed)

Then there was the showing up of a long lost family member like an episode of the Colbys who accused of my mother feeding her 3rd rate food and giving her son 1st rate food, flashback....what does mummy do at that time all forgivev... what does that Vadai do goes for her with a plate... (well the intent was there) till a cousin held me back.... back to present... so all uncles come and say this and that as if nothing happened...hmmm one had the cheek to come to me and say "you know Vadai... you are young... I was once your age...hot blooded... you know.... " my kind and polite reply... " my dear..... no one humiliated my family and get to walk away from it and the only reason your niece can still stand in front of me coz I promised my mom.... stunned eyes wide open he backed offf....


Anyway Jnr Vadai and I Had fun with the rest of the cousins dancing the night away and taking back yes wait... wait for the number ..... 12 bottles of wine.... anyone want some

Sunday morning political discourse of the right and wrong and opinions asked of me....i gave frank and direct assessments at least I have people who appreciate me for my brutal directness but also to help them look at the bigger picture of engaging back tothe funeral prayers Sunday evening.. and the eventual 31st day.

My aunt at the prayers prayed... gosh yes prayed over me.... hmmm I hope I strike

Alas after all the ironing out, seeing the light, being the family... it was a nice drive back to my apartment to watch my Liverpool play and start at 12 bottles of wine...

the song by KD Lang is worth it