Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Single Child - All for one

Each time Jnr Vadai asks, "When will we be having another baby?" The answer is polite but the emotiions trouble inside. Too young to know the politics, the scarifices, the invidividual scars and ......(sigh), he is just a kid and a darling....

These days, it seems no sooner have you had one child when people start to wonder when you will be having the next one. But not all of us hanker after the model family of two kids. For many, one child is enough. It may be a question of financial necessity, medical difficulties, age, a traumatic experience the first time around or a straightforward matter of personal choice.

At the junctions where we stand after 5 years is a world of a difference before Jnr came into the pic.Even in this day and age when more and more people are choosing to be single child families, it seems there is still a stigma attached to this decision. Parents are often criticised for being selfish - saying that the child will be lonely or spoilt without siblings. And this is true for many families - while some really want to stay with one child, others have no choice because they started their family late or have medical complications.

Pros and cons of having just one child

Pros:

* More time to spend together
* Less expensive
* Potentially fewer family arguments
* There's no need for hand-me-down clothes and toys
* Only one pregnancy and birth!

Cons:

* No special sibling bonds
* May feel lonely at times, eg on holidays, rainy weekends etc
* It can be difficult to keep them amused as toddlers - brothers or sisters can help!
* An only child may be more spoiled than one with brother or sisters
* No companionship from siblings in later life

After my session in Klang yesterday, walk a mile in my shoes ... I say...walk...

3 comments:

darthvadai said...
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Angie said...

why u answer urself la vadai? hahaha... well to me 2 kids are enuff... not more than that.. one kid is too little but that depends... nowadays ppl wan quality rather than quantity

Anonymous said...

Jnr is in the right age to discovered ponder and ask that question - thats natural development for him. Jnr or any single child at his age now would want to have a little baby in the house. When he is around 7+ & has friends to play football with he'll be busy meeting his buddies to play ball not a baby.

in my humble opinion to bring a new child into the world knowing the problems that exist such as financial constrains and more is 'being selfish' without thinking the new child's future welfare. The decision made today effects the child's life tomorrow- medical care? good education?...its the quality of life given.

its not about how many kids a family should have - its about how many they can afford to have and bring up to the best.to compromise the future of a unborn child without examining the current scenario is ...(im lost for words)

Let me share this with all readers :
I know a child - the single mother have taken a different approach -she let him to spend time at an orphanage and make friends and play around - he bonded with another child who comes over to the house spends time with him - like brothers. Both knows they have to say goodbye when time for either to go back to separate homes. That bond will build character and bring a higher teaching to their soul.
Must sibling be one of same blood and share roof or one who grows up with us and shares our life journey?
what is the message we want to teach our child today?