Tuesday, September 05, 2006

R frens really ur fren when they are blind?

There are times in my life when people often misjudge me, maybe I do not open myself enough, maybe I reveal myself in portions that allow them to judge me, there again people will be people. I could never emplace the trust I have on people like before, I have changed but that is me.

Last night was wonderful, I went to beach with the joys of a lovely Saturday afternoon... devil and xxixe formed the party of 3 .... it was a lovely evening each being our own and on ourselves but in a group, that was meant to be, we had laughter and I watch Liverpool slam in 3 beautiful goals. The arrival of a 4th shook me a little, honestly it shook more then I expected myself. I may not have been more different then the 4th that arrive but when it came to stand up , I stood and faced what I need to faced. Maybe because I have been in that shoe I resented it more, for watever reason it affected me.

Nevertheless it was a lovely night, and Liverpool won. I received a disturbing SMS from a fren about my past. Never expected that maybe instead of turning the other cheek it was time to cut ties with this person I called a fren.

Sunday was similar with meeting some frens for bfast and lazing back to watch Alexander. The ghost of the past evening began to eat into me. The turning point was the phrase "jaga hati", this is someone I consider close to and know my history and yet used a phrase in a manner not realizing event that had takes place in my life, was quick to draw a conclusion based merely on my past and from current reading of my blog and blogs of my frens. (Wont be the 1st time)

Am at crossroads of closing the door shut or soldier on. In recent time I opened new forms of comumunication but still at the opportunities to move forward they choose the past to weigth the scale. How hard can one try if the ability to believes lies only in the past?

The present is left to judge for it self. I write this for thoes who read and assume coz words do not matter any more neither do action. The ball lies in the other court.

My strength to move forward is there the choice will be of my fren to walk the path I choose. No more room for comment, the clarion has sounde to toe to the line or get out of my life, in the end the ability to choose lies in you.

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